Crazy Life

Today, I have this month's guest post. I have known this missionary mum since 2005 and have lots of fun and happy memories hanging out with her, when we were both single gals with a heart for mission! She met her husband in the same place as I did and is living on the same continent as I am right now. Given the sensitive nature of her families work with Reach Across, working amongst the Muslim community and for 28 Too Many that is as detailed as I am able to get. She has a gorgeous little daughter (see below) and as of last week a brand new son too! Today she writes for me (during a time of uncertainty for us) about a time of uncertainty that her family have had to work through over the last couple years.

Almost exactly a year ago we were evacuated from our country. We were ordered to leave when the political situation meant that foreign nationals were perceived to be at high risk of kidnapping and being caught in any potential conflict.

We had arrived for our first term as missionaries only 4 months earlier with our then 7 month old. We had started language acquisition, getting to know neighbours, culture, house decorating, getting furniture ... all the usual stuff you do when you move somewhere new. I was so excited to finally be where I thought would be "home". I had waited a long time for this. This was where we would be for a good many years, where our kids would grow up, where we would make a life as a family.

It was a roller coaster ride leaving under such stressful circumstances, not knowing for how long, or if we would ever be able to return. The good road out of the country was deemed off limits as it was too close to a 'high-risk' area so we did a 24 hour detour which involved a night on a church floor and some pretty hairy terrain (that was the most fun in those crazy days of packing and travelling to our temporary home in the neighbouring country, especially as I was driving the roughest bit!).

So we eventually arrived at our temporary home and were stuck in limbo for about 5 months. It was a pretty difficult time emotionally and spiritually. The relentless mosquitos were also pretty annoying but the location was nice and at times I was able to really enjoy that aspect of our situation.

Disappointed? Confused? Angry? Frustrated? Lost? You name the emotion, I am pretty sure I felt it.

I couldn't understand why we were going through all this. We had worked so hard to get there. Bible school, learning French (our bridge language), raising the money to go. We had felt all along that it was God's will and he had made it all pretty straightforward even easy at times. So what was this all about? And what about my little girl? This surely couldn't be good for her. As a new Mum I was new to the feelings of utter responsibility for a little person and wanted to do all I could to protect her.

So things seemed pretty bleak at times to be honest. I was really unhappy and felt guilty for not being able to do the ministry we were being supported to do as well as all the other issues I have touched upon.

We returned to our country (not our town yet) in June and have settled in the city for a while, mostly because baby number 2 will be arriving very soon!

The first few weeks were strange and I came to realise that since the evacuation I had been super protective over our daughter, which I also realised was more for me than for her! I had had zero control over most things in my life for so long that the only thing I could control was her routine. This is not very African! So I told myself to suck it up and start embracing life here the way I had planned. Being flexible and as African as possible. Life is short and was not going to be fun if I put limits on our life in that way. Good decision!

So what's happening now? Well, as I said it's one year on. A lot has changed. I have changed. We have changed as a family. I have learnt a lot and been reminded of many things I learnt at Bible school which I know will help me in the long term and I hope will enable me to support others who go through similar situations in the future. 

The life of a missionary can be stressful and a very steep learning curve (and wonderful!!)

The life of a mum can be stressful and a very steep learning curve (and wonderful!!)

The life of a wife can be stressful and a very steep learning curve (and wonderful!!)

We live in constant transition.

Home is not necessarily one physical place. It IS one spiritual place.

Expect the unexpected.

Kids are way more resilient than we give them credit for!

Hold on to material things lightly. It's great to make your house a home, but we have to recognise that it may not be home for as long as we hope or expect.

Our plans don't always work out the way we expect. God has really surprised me in how he has used our time in the big city to be really useful despite it seemingly slowing down all our other plans.

There are a ton of other things I could write and even more that I'm sure will come to me later but I hope this may be of use to someone in a similar situation at some point.

It's a crazy life we lead. But I know I wouldn't change it for the world.

Something New

Living within a smaller community of people in a culture that's different from that which you're used to, means that you get to know each other quite well reasonably quickly. 

People come and people go ... yes, even though we've only been here 8 months we've seen many people and families in both categories. But in some respects we're still getting to know a lot of them as we're relatively new out here!

Here are some of my 'new' friends. They are from all over the world ... New Zealand, Australia, Holland, Switzerland, South Africa, England!

It never ceases to amaze me when I begin to think that I know someone reasonably well and then find something unexpected about them or their family, both here and amongst friends I've known for years. Like last week when I found out that as a child one of my friends tied a sibling to a telegraph pole for a couple of hours. Or last month when the husband of another friend said that on their first date she had told him up front that she most definitely never wanted children, they're now happily married with four children and she is broody for more!

There is always an opportunity to learn new things about people. Even when you have known someone for years there is always something new to discover. Just last weekend I discovered that my husband who I have seen almost every day since we first met back in September 2005, 8 years ago, can be quite particular when it comes to washing up ... what made me laugh was that it was something that I am also quite particular about too!!

I love the chance we have to get to know people from all over the world, being based in Dodoma, getting to know not only something of them but also of their cultures too. As I said because of the nature of life here, you get to know people quicker and deeper. It's definitely one of the bonuses when you give up so many other things to live and work in a missionary context ... making the effort to spend time and get to know people is well worth it and also because on another level they become your support and your family!

Not the Best Start

Today is Monday. I love Mondays ... to get myself into the rhythm of the week, to clear up after the weekend. I've mentioned before that I try and keep the day clear to catch up with myself and often find that they turn into bumbling Mondays but as Naomi favourite saying at the moment is 'That OK'!! If the week starts off on the right foot, it's always seems to be a better week for me. 

Today I got going well, managed to get a few things done for me and for MAF. Popped into town had lunch ready for Mark when he came home and a few other bits and bobs. As the afternoon progressed though, Naomi got quieter and quieter and snugglier and snugglier, without being fidgety ... totally out of character.

By mid-afternoon my Facebook status had changed to ...

"Poorly little girl ... time to pull-up my mummy pants, roll-up my sleeves, cancel all plans and just get on with it! Let me hear an A-men from all you mummy's out there!"

Now, it is the middle of the night and we're sitting on the sofa (with me fighting to keep my eyes open and hoping to avoid the mosquitos!) watching kiddie movies waiting for the next bowlful of sick to appear! Not quite how I'd planned my week to begin ... but it is what it is!!

Motherhood is not in the least bit glamourous but you take what comes and  just get on with it, however much you do or don't want to deal with any given situation. Right now I'd like to curl back up in bed and not crawl out until everyone is fit and healthy again. Instead I'm surrounded by the lingering aroma of sick and am hoping and praying that, one, it passes super quick and two, that no-one else comes down with it!

I guess there's something within all parents, both mummy's and daddy's, that kicks into gear at times like this. However tired or uninspired we feel by the situation, an overriding ability to push through and cope with it for as long as we need to, to help or protect our children just clicks into place and keeps us going. Later on we can find the time and energy to catch-up with everything we've missed out on including sleep ... putting the munchkins first while they need it, is the priority!

So, that's how my week has started! You may or may not hear from me again this week depending on how it all goes!!

Living in Community

I'm back! What with unpacking and no wifi for a week (too much effort to climb over the boxes to reach the connection!) ... I've had a longer break than expected but it's mainly because my brain has temporarily ceased to function!

Anyway ... 

I have had the privilege of living in a small community on more than one occasion. As a single, as a newlywed and with a family, both in the UK and overseas. It definitely has both huge drawbacks and huge bonuses!

Don't get me wrong. We all live within some sort of community but I mean the more limited one. One where you can't so easily pick and choose the people you spend lots of time with. One where they are 'picked' for you, whether it is because of geographical, time or language restraints ... and there aren't other friends or family a few hours drive away to escape to if you need to!

Everybody is different. That's the joy of human nature. Having all those differences in a concentrated location can be ... 'interesting'! Some people are complete extroverts, while other's need their space. Some put their family first, while others put their work first. Some hold grudges and some just let everything go. Some people choose to discipline their children in one way and some in another. Some international communities work so hard not to be offensive to any particular nationality that they create their own subculture as a result. 

The list really is endless. None of those things are right and none of them are wrong. They are just differences. Differences that you learn to adapt to because the bonuses of being part of the community far outweigh the drawbacks! 

The people you are with become your family. You experience the good times and the tough times, as well as the milestones together. You get to know each other a lot quicker, a lot better and a lot deeper than you would normally.

As a result, even though we've only been here for five months we already have some really good friends here. In the crazy last few weeks, we've had people come and help us unload the container, unpack boxes, cook us meals, look after the girls and put up book shelves to name just a few things. We feel really lucky to have that network in place already.

In the same way we have also had the opportunity to be there for others. Providing meals when people have been recovering from illnesses, throwing birthday lunches, taking over people's roles when they have to leave on short notice, looking after friends children for 24 hours due to unexpected hospital overnight stays (Abigail didn't complain, it was an excuse for her first sleep-over and time with one of her best friends, see below!),  ... the list goes on.

Living in community, you look out for where you can support each other, you notice when something needs to be done. It can be claustrophobic at times, that's the reality of it. Yes, of course people can drive you stir crazy at times too but you stick with it and get through it because at the end of the day you are now each other's support network and you couldn't make it on your own! Yes, it can feel like a sacrifice sometimes ... but it's definitely a sacrifice worth making!

Riding a Rollercoaster

I LOVE roller-coasters! The adrenalin, the thrill! In fact, I usually just get a fit of the giggles and have tears running down my face by the end of it!

I have a hunch that the littlest munchkin will follow in my footsteps as she's already proving to be a bit of a thrill seeker!

Embarking on the missionary lifestyle can sometimes feel like a bit of a roller coaster ... but not always one of the thrill seeking, giggling variety! You can be obedient to the call, follow the path and it can still twist and turn in ways that you can never be prepared for.

This week for example, we received news that our container is on it's final leg of a very long journey. To describe the process as a battle, would be an understatement. Every single step of getting it released since it arrived in Tanzania has been fought for on our behalf. As I've shared before bureaucracy here is a little different to what we're used to, especially when it comes to issuing visas!

Even this week, when we thought it was all finally going to be sorted, we have had some of the biggest ups and downs to cope with! 

On Monday, we were told the container was loaded onto a truck to bring here. An hour or so later we were told it was just being taken to a warehouse and wouldn't be released until Mark had his visa ... something we had just gone through a whole process to avoid. To say we felt numb and sick when we received that email and thought we were back to square one would definitely be an understatement. Three VERY long hours later we were told it was a mistake and we'd been misinformed and everything was still good for delivery.

On Tuesday, we were told it would be leaving within the next 24 hours. Only to be told later on that we still had to pay an additional 1.2 million Tanzanian Shillings before it was released. Again, somebody somewhere was misinformed and that was not the case!

Today, Wednesday, we trust that it has started making it's final journey here although to be fair, until we see it, we're not going to believe it! When we do, I have no idea how I will react. Tears of relief, tears of joy? Who knows?!

When you've entrusted all your worldly goods to total strangers, it becomes quite personal when there are issues with the processing of it. Yes, possessions aren't everything and the contents of that container aren't overly special but they are ours and they mean something to us.

You can imagine the emotions that we faced this week, especially on Monday when we thought we had to start all over again. It hit us to the core, we may be missionaries but we are also human. It caused us to question everything from 'Are we in the right place?', 'Are we doing the right thing?', 'Why when we've invested so much into this, is this happening to us?' to 'With so many people praying for us, does God really answer prayer?', 'Shall we just pack up and go home?'. It was pretty awful there for a couple of hours. Talk about stressful!

We've been here five months now, our visas are no closer to being processed, Mark is still has no closer to being allowed to sit for his TCAA licence, there is no suitable car available for us to buy and our container is yet to join us. Yet we KNOW God is bigger than all of this ... even if at certain times on certain days, when we're far from home and the familiar, it's been a lot harder to believe! 

I guess it's all part of riding the roller coaster of missionary life ... and we have no intention of getting off that ride just yet!

Transition

Today I have a guest blog to share with you ... with a difference. Many missionaries work in situations where it is not always safe to reveal their identity or the true work that they are involved in and these situations they are in can change at moments notice. Studying at All Nations, I had the opportunity to make friends with people called to all types of mission work and today's guest post is from someone in this position. Both she and her husband are professionals in their own right and they have three boys under the age of 10. Here's is a glimpse into their past year which didn't go at all how they had planned.

All Nations Christian College

Transition is not a word I used much before preparing and going overseas. It’s one I’ve had a lot of reasons to think about over the past year especially. 

When we went out to South Asia with 2 children under 2, I knew that adjustments were going to be greatest for us adults. We left close family and friendships behind, we were used to certain freedoms and opportunities that now were not available, we were the ones who needed to get used to new routines involving purifying water, sterilizing fruit and veg before eating it, removing large spiders from very basic bathrooms before using them, and many other new experiences. Our boys mainly continued in a similar routine with Mum and Dad around them as before, it was just that the food got a bit spicier and the weather a whole lot warmer!

But 5 years later it was a different story. There was now a no. 3 who was toddler age, but all his life he had known a 3^rd adult in the house most of his waking hours – our hardworking and faithful house-helper who loved our boys to bits and took great care of them at the times we were both out at work.

Nos. 1 and 2 now had their own friends, local friends from preschool and school, and ex-pat friends we met up with for fellowship and fun times – like cooling off together in the heat at a local pool we had access to. This was their home. Our home, England, was just a place of visits and holidays, time out from the ordinary. For our children ‘ordinary’ was the colour and dust and bustle of a sprawling developing world city, ‘ordinary’ was having school closures for the next day announced at 11pm (on TV channels we didn’t watch!) due to unrest in the city, ‘normal’ was donkey carts and camels on the road alongside crowded public buses and smart shiny 4x4s of the city elite.

And then in the space of 2 weeks our world was turned upside-down by the cancellation of our visas and the instruction to leave. It was time to go through transition again, but this time there was very little time to prepare, and whilst we needed to help our boys through it we were in bits ourselves over what was happening.

Today as I write this it is a year to the very day since we received news that we had to leave the country we had grown to love. And three weeks ago we sold our house in a leafy London suburb to move to a very South Asian area just a few miles down the road, where we have seen God lead us over recent months. Moving house is said to be one of the most stressful things you can do – because, I think, it involves a lot of change and uncertainty. We certainly experienced some of that with this move. However, harder still for us was leaving what was our home in South Asia so quickly, and so against our will. Time for goodbyes was short, opportunities to do special things as a family one last time were very limited as we raced to sort, pack, sell and give away all we had. And returning to the UK with no plans, no hopes and nowhere permanent to live was a great example of how not to ‘do transition’ if you can possibly help it!

Alongside being a mum I’m also a GP. I’m used to hearing about a problem and formulating a plan, an approach to it. As a mum helping my boys deal with all the changes the past year has brought, I’ve learnt that there needs to be more than one treatment option – in fact each of us needs a personalised treatment plan in tough times like major change.

My eldest (8) I think found it the hardest – he had friends he’d known since he was 2, some really special friends, but at 7 as he was then you don’t really do much more than hug when you say goodbye. For a while he would get really upset, angry even, over little incidents, minor injustices between him and his brother, or him and the rest of the world, it all just hurt. And efforts to help him process sadness through drawing pictures (which he usually loves) or reviewing photos he refused to do – I think it was just too painful. Occasional chats about things we did or friends we had, as they were relevant to what we were doing, seemed an easier way to re-live those times for him. It felt a real breakthrough to hear him say just a month back how he’d like to go back and visit his friends one day – the first time he has expressed a desire to return.

No. 2 (then 5, now 6) actually really went for the picture drawing, he could go to those places and draw on the good times. He had most enthusiasm for sending a UK postcard to friends back in our city. But he too had his moments, an increase in the times he would overreact, breakdowns into uncontrollable sobs when things didn’t go his way. I found this a real challenge as a parent with very limited resources in the patience department at the time, still in my own wilderness.

And no. 3 (then 15 months, now 2yrs) who had always been secure, confident and a fantastic sleeper, became oh so clingy. It’s taken a good length of time for him to be happily without Mum and Dad, and in the first few months of frequent changes of location, staying in many different friends’ and family’s houses, he would often wake at strange times and need us around to settle him like never before. It took me a long time to see things from his perspective, to realise that his life had always involved 3 significant adults with our house-helper around as well, and suddenly she was gone. There had been no explanation that he could grasp, no gradual change, first she was part of his daily life and then she was gone. He missed her, I came to realise, and having lost her I could see why he would want to make sure Mum and Dad didn’t go too.

Transition. It’s been quite a year. Our recent house move is the 4^th major change of home in the past 12 months, but at least this time other things (like school) are staying the same, even if the nature of the area we live in have changed a lot, and the boys seem happy to be in our new home. They have come through many of the issues mentioned above. Nos. 1 and 2 love school and have gradually made good friends both their and in our new church. No. 3 adores the childminder he spends 3 mornings a week with and has great fun charging about with Indian, Pakistani and Somali children we mix with locally. I haven’t even touched on how I and my husband have dealt with all the change, I’ll just go so far as saying it’s ongoing – emotions and issues surfacing at times when the pressing needs of family life and new work and ministry in the UK allow it to.

And where is God in all this? I’ve not mentioned Him either. He’s been right in the middle of all the mess with us. I’m so glad our faith allows for God to be in mess and hurt, confusion, imperfection and uncertainty, and to understand it. It has helped me to recognise that Jesus experienced all this and more as he faced misunderstanding, disappointment and rejection throughout his earthly life. The scriptural idea of being aliens and strangers makes more sense when living as one on the move, with no fixed horizons for a while, and there have been valuable lessons to share with our boys from this part of our story. Together we have known what it is to call heaven our true home, together we have learnt more about trusting God when our plans, hopes and dreams have fallen apart, and together we are learning more about how he rebuilds us in a way that prepares us for wherever he takes us next. Transition and change can be challenging, for us and our children, but like everything else we can trust God to use it for our good.

Missing the Milestones

We've been here almost 3 months now. That's a quarter of a year!

In that time there have been many significant life events happening for friends and family. Parents of good friends of mine have died, there have been weddings, births and literally everything in between. And we've missed it all!

In fact just this last weekend, one of my cousins got married, another went wedding dress shopping for next year, my best friend throughout school announced she was expecting her fourth baby and another good friend gave birth to a beautiful baby girl!

Life goes on at home when you leave it all behind. I use the term 'home' loosely because our family and friends are literally spread out over the world. There is absolutely no way had we been in the UK (our real home country) that we would have been able to be part of all these events anyway as most were spread out enough across the world that it would have been impossible. Being so far removed from everything out here can sometimes feel like we're missing out though. 

The reality is, that our family are also achieving all the different milestones here while we're away too. Naomi was born in the States, Abigail started school in Tanzania, to name just two. Those closest to us are missing out on our lives as much as we're missing out on theirs.

The internet has helped us to keep in touch and up-to-date a lot more than the first time I lived here. I didn't even have a email address of my own in those days. Now we're sharing photos backwards and forwards, just minutes after they are taken (like the one of me and my girlies above!). Or talking face-to-face via Skype, something I introduced Maria (our house help) to the other day ... she couldn't believe it was possible!

Missing the milestones is one sacrifice of the missionary lifestyle, that you don't always consider when you're preparing for a life overseas but thanks to modern technology we are no longer so far removed from everything ... or waiting anything from 2 weeks to 2 months or longer for news to arrive via snail mail. Missing out hasn't been something that has adversely affected any of us so far and we're 4 years into our MAF/mission experience as a family and counting, so that's definitely something to be grateful for. 

Congratulations to everyone who has been celebrating exciting stuff recently ... we're definitely there in spirit, if not in person!

No Longer the Newbies

The missionary community is one that is constantly changing. 

One of the great things about our lifestyle is the opportunity to meet so many people from different walks of life and learn from them. One of the sacrifices of our lifestyle is not the constant round of hello's ... but all the goodbye's that are inevitable too.

This week as a family, we lost our status as the 'newbies' in Dodoma after only two months, even though we're still in the transition and settling-in stage ourselves! We had the new family round to our house for dinner this evening ... our first official MAF hospitality duty. (Our home is roughly in the centre of this photo, four silver roofs, ours is second from the top)

Transition affects people in different ways. I've sat through many classes, learning about what to expect and how to cope with it. I know that taking in all the new stuff, culture, language, food, daily rhythm is a lot to get to grips with. I know that it can take months to fully adjust. I know that some people can be extra clumsy, some people over commit themselves and then crash ... and others like me and my hubby, and the family that arrived last week, just feel constantly tired as the brain tries to assimilate everything into the new normal!

Transition is not a bad thing, it's just a reality for us for the time being. No longer being the newbies is not a bad thing either. It means that as a family we're progressing and getting one step closer to the 'new normal'. It means that sometime in the next few months it'll all feel so much like home that everything that went before will be a distant but happy memory!

Day Dreaming

Dinner tonight was yummy IKEA meatballs ... if you haven't tried them, you're missing out! 

This afternoon after some MAF training we took a quick family trip to IKEA ... somewhere we haven't been for quite a few years. The nearest one to where we lived in Ohio was about 100 miles away and when we have been in the UK we have been too busy to fit it in.

Understandably, when we're travelling backwards and forwards with just suitcases, IKEA goods are a little impractical for us to transport. Another good reason not to go shopping there ... but it didn't stop us picking up the odd thing or two!

Today, at a time when we're living out of suitcases in several different locations with no time, space and routine ... and dreaming of getting into a home of our own again ... I walked around the store wishing for all the things we're not going to have for quite some time.

In the space of the hour we were there, I had visualised how I would decorate several rooms in a house we don't own, if we were living in the UK on a salary and not on faith support. In that time ... I also went through the thought processes of where we would live and settle if we ended up here after our commitment to MAF is done. It's funny how quickly the brain can process all that stuff!!

I love making a house a home ... and have enjoyed doing it in rented properties, which I've had to do ever since we've been married. But one of my  personal sacrifices of the missionary lifestyle is not having my own home that I can completely change, restyle and redecorate how I want, rather than just embellish it ... and today indulged my imagination a little bit more than normal!!

I wouldn't change what we are doing as a family for anything but a trip round IKEA is one of those occasions when the thought 'what are we doing?' does flash through my head ... only for minute!

The Lull before the Storm

These last six months in the States were always going to be slightly crazy! From June onwards, I had a check-list of how things would run ...

• My mum's visit ... check!
• Mark completing his hours in the hanger ... check!
• Weekend in Toronto ... check!
• Mark passing his exams ... check!
• Mark's parent's visit ... check!
• Look-see visit (week in Dodoma, Tanzania)
• Packing up our lives in Ohio
• Flying back to the UK

There are only a few more things left to accomplish now. The craziness has seemed to intensify the further down the list we have gone, with the biggest three items saved til last. Although I knew they were all coming eventually, I have spent my time concentrating on each item at hand. 

Now I have no excuses, with less than two months to go before the final flight, I have to attack those final few things, there is no putting them off any longer! The end is most definitely nigh!

Yesterday, after some cooler weather here in Ohio, we enjoyed an Autumn day which was more like a hot summer's day back in the UK. It was in the 80's and so we went for a family stroll in a park we've never been to before ... to take a quick break and enjoy each other's company. 

It was a like a little piece of England. Walking through the trees and the rose gardens, laughing and joking together, made it feel like we were back at home ... away from everything. It made the impending whirlwind seem a million miles away, rather than just around the corner!

I have to admit that there are times, especially when there such huge things imminent, when I wonder what life would be like if we'd chosen a different path.

If we hadn't gone into mission ...

If we weren't moving across continents every few years ...

If we'd stayed in the UK ...

If we were living a comfortable life in the suburbs ...

If we hadn't followed the plan that God worked out for us ...

I always come to the same conclusion. While I don't doubt that we would have made a good go of it, been both comfortable and happy ... I know we would have missed out on all the amazing adventures we're enjoying right now. 

Given a do-over, I honestly wouldn't change any of it ... however stressful it's going to get! There may be times I have to remind myself of that between now and Christmas though!

Vaccination Time

Yesterday was one of those days on our mission adventure as a family that I'd like to be able to skip over or not have to include at all! However it was a non-negotiable.

When we've been preparing the girls for life in Tanzania, Abigail especially, we've been 'big-ing up' the warm weather, the new school, the African animals, being able to swim all year round and all the exciting things. One very unhelpful 'friend' recently said to Abigail 'You don't want to go to Africa do you?'. I was very proud when I heard she had responded very enthusiastically with, 'Yes, I do'!

Yesterday though, was one of the blips on the journey ... vaccination time! Getting a four year old excited about the prospect of having not 1, not 2, not 3, not even 4 injections but 5, was most definitely not something I was looking forward to. The reality was though, that it was just one more step in our preparation for the excitement that will follow.

On the drive there I was concentrating on the amazing Autumn colours, not knowing how either girlie would take to being treated like a pin cushion, I chose not to think about it. On arrival at the health department we were greeted by some stunning vistas, just a shame it was a little overcast!

But the real job in hand, was what took place in the two hours that followed. 2 injections for Mark, 3 for Naomi, 4 for me and 5 for Abigail. Unfortunately the girls were both of an age where their regular shots/jabs were due on top of the ones we needed for Tanzania ... so we rather proudly exited at lunchtime with a total of 14 injections between us!

In an attempt to make it vaguely exciting, Abigail got to chose her favourite 'Hello Kitty' plasters (UK)/bandages (US) to take with her and use, once it was over. We also took some yummy chocolate for them both to have and then let Abigail choose where we would go for lunch to 'celebrate' a successful morning!

In the end it was all pretty straight forward. Obviously the girls didn't really enjoy the whole experience but we got through it with no major problems, thank goodness. This morning Abigail went to pre-school as normal and when she got back she totally crashed for several hours. I guess her little body was coming to terms with everything that was pumped into her. If that's the only side effect, it was a relatively successful experience all-in-all ... but to be honest I'm glad we don't have to repeat it again in a hurry!

All Snuggly

I love this time of year. The days are still warm and sunny but the nights are a lot cooler and the mornings are crisp and fresh. Definitely indicating the shift between Summer, Autumn and Winter.

This week I've swapped over our lighter bedding for the thicker, more snuggly stuff and now it feels even nicer to curl up in bed at the end of a long munchkin filled day. Admittedly when you're warm and snug, curled up under thick layers of duvets and quilts, it does make getting up in the morning (or in the night when the munchkins are a-calling), that much harder.

Abigail and Naomi took great joy in curling up together in Abigail's bed with the thicker duvet on in the middle of the day, when I first changed them over.  This morning she didn't even want to get out of bed because it was 'too snuggly'. Most days, Abigail jumps out of bed declaring 'it's morning time', today she just called it out from under the covers!!!

I have always thought I sleep better, the more snuggly the bed and the covers, just because it feels so much more cosy. Mark is the same way. This winter however will probably be one of the last times we need extra thick layers for a while, so we had better make the most of each night's sleep. Once we get to Tanzania, the climate will be a lot warmer and while there will be cooler times in the year when we'll need a few more layers at night ... it won't be anything like we've been used to during the winters out here in Ohio. 

While I don't view this as a particular 'sacrifice', I know there will be times when it will definitely be something that I will miss while we live in Tanzania. It's funny that there can be such little familiar things that we take for granted while we have them but then totally miss when we don't. I guess these can often be the things that make us feel homesick on a bad day or just things that we appreciate more when we're on home leave ... but don't make any sense whatsoever to anyone else!

Date Night

This week I got to go on a date with my hubby! It really is an unusual occurrence for us, as I know it is for other friends with young children. So definitely a highlight ... whatever we get up to!

When we were first married we tried to have a date night every week. We would take it in turns to decide what we the evening would entail. At the beginning we were students, so the evenings were fairly low-budget (or no-budget) but then when we finished studying and were earning real money, we were able to go out more for dinner or to the cinema or occasionally away for the night.

Then along came the munchkins and life was never the same again ... as I'm sure other parents can totally appreciate. Not only that but we lived away from family and good friends both in the UK and then here ... so date nights suddenly became few and far between. One of the sacrifices of moving around the world as a missionary ... having to find and trust people to look after your kids, building up the trust of the girls to be left with someone else ... and then having the money to actually do something.

We have been privileged to have a lot of friends and family from the UK come and visit us over the last three years that we've lived here. During each visitor's stay we have tried to fit in a date night of some sort as well. We've been able to have some meals out but there isn't much to do in town once you've finished eating so we often find ourselves walking hand-in-hand around Walmart afterwards! Just to maximise our alone time before reluctantly heading home and taking up the baton of parenthood once again! (We love our girlies, really we do ... but a couple of hours off, is wonderful too!)

On Wednesday, under a gorgeous sunset (see above), my hubby took me out on one of the most memorable of our dates yet! The first since in a couple of months, since our last visitor from the UK. We went to the County Fair to watch the Rough Trucks contest, using our free tickets from manning the gates earlier in the week! To top it all, Mark even bought me some deep fried oreo's ... a fair delicacy I had yet to try and which to be honest tasted really yummy!!

When you think of a 'date' with your loved one, this may not be the first and most romantic thing that comes to mind. It was however extremely cultural and a really fun evening. We got to see some good friends there and thanks to Grandma and Gramps, we had a few hours to ourselves, snuggled together on the grandstand! I loved having some hubby time in the amongst the hustle and bustle of everything else that's been going on ... not sure how he's going to top this one though!

Worldly Goods

As I've mentioned before, one of the sacrifices of the missionary lifestyle is living on a much reduced budget. It totally goes against the grain of what the world is telling us ... 'Bigger, Better, More' ... including the pay-packet. Knowing that our money is coming from supporters too has also been a big factor for us, as we feel we need to be a lot more responsible with it as well.

We have learnt to have a totally different perspective when it comes to money and 'things' since we got married and especially in the last four years. Knowing that we would be following the missionary path and that we didn't want to accumulate too many 'worldly goods' that we would have to ship all around the world with us when we got married,we did something different. We broke down a dream honeymoon in the Maldives into small chunks and asked guests to give us money towards different elements, including upgrades to a watervilla, spa treatments and scuba-diving as well as 'airmiles' towards the flights etc. 

It was an amazing 10 days and something we would never have been able to have arranged or afforded ourselves! When we returned however we found that our car had been broken into and some items had been stolen. Not exactly how you picture ending your honeymoon ... but it has helped shape the importance that we place on our possessions right from the start of our marriage.

We often find ourselves looking longingly at items in shops and magazines and saying 'If we weren't doing what we're doing ...'! But do you know what, even though lots of our possessions are borrowed/secondhand/second choice we feel a freedom from accumulating things and what we have doesn't have as much importance in our lives. Basically we're living a much more contented lifestyle than we thought possible which was a totally unexpected bonus.

Since living in the States, we've also learned ways to save little extra bits here and there. In the UK, you can get the odd voucher from time to time to save money on your weekly groceries. In the USA, the equivalent 'coupons' are everywhere. Some people take coupon-ing so seriously that they can spend $1,000+ in a food store and literally come away having spent less than $10. It really is an artform of it's own and takes hours of preparation and organisation ... and way too extreme for me.

In the Sunday papers each week there are booklets literally full of coupons, see below. It was a trick we didn't learn until we'd lived in the States for at least a year (a tip to anyone welcoming new people to a new country ... fill them in on information like this, especially if you know they're on a tight budget! It may be obvious to you but it's probably not to them). 

Since we discovered this, we have bought the papers on the way home from church most weeks. While we haven't changed our shopping habits to suit the coupons, we have found that we've saved $5-$10 a week on groceries on the stuff we would be buying anyway. While it may not sound like too much, when it adds up to $300-$500 a year, for little effort, it's definitely been worth it. 

It has also meant a little bit of extra spending money for us ... so from time to time when we do see a couple of things we might like to buy we have been able to do just that. Definitely a win-win situation for us!

I Miss Nana

Yesterday afternoon, we dropped my mum at the airport after a couple of weeks of fun and silliness together. VBS, trips to the pool, visiting Amish country, meals out, playing in the back garden/yard and so much more.

As we drove away, waving from the airport, just as the window closed and mum went out of sight, Abigail piped up 'I miss Nana'. A couple of hours later, on the journey home a little voice called out once again 'I miss my Nana'. It was one of those bittersweet moments of being a missionary. So gorgeous that she feels that way and had lots of fun with Nana but so sad that because of our choice to work overseas our children and parents only get a few weeks concentrated time together each year, rather than the year round regular visits they would have enjoyed, if we lived back in the UK.

I know both sets of parents have to spend the first few days of their visits readjusting to the stage that each girl is at, what they're into, the routines in the family and other things like that which would have been second nature if they saw them more often. It can be a little frustrating for everyone. This visit, my mum commented on how much both girls had changed since she last got to spend time with them. Naomi is no longer a baby and Abigail is now more of a young lady than a little girl.

It highlights to both me and Mark, just how much of the girls childhoods our parents are missing out on and I'm sure to our parents too. It is heartbreaking to know that we are the cause of that but at the same time, we're so lucky that our parents are supportive of what we're doing and are both happy and able to travel to see us and the girls so regularly.

It is definitely one of the sacrifices of the missionary lifestyle. We know many others who have also chosen to move overseas from their home countries for different reasons and are making the same sacrifices. Everyone has their own ways of working it out but it doesn't always make it any easier.

Penny Wars

The first summer that we moved to the States and I heard the letters V-B-S being talked about, I wondered if it was some kind of disease or something ... I had never heard of the term 'Vacation Bible School' before! As a result I was a little wary when I answered the request to get involved. Just what was I getting myself into?!

Three summers later, it all makes a lot more sense and last week our whole family were able to get involved in the fun and craziness of the VBS week at our church here, Coshocton Christian Tabernacle. The theme was 'Sky' and while it was a long week with late nights all round, it was such fun to be a part of and well worth it!

Each year there are 'Penny Wars'. Boys vs Girls each night. Who can bring in the most pennies, usually weighed and counted before the evening is out. This money goes to fund the following year's VBS, so that it can be free for the 120+ children that attend from the local community. This year from Monday to Friday they raised over $1,500 ... yes, in pennies! I'm glad I wasn't on the counting team, that's a lot of pennies!

On the first evening, they announced the mission they would be supporting in the final Sunday service's 'Penny War', when all the kids could bring their families to see what they had been up to during the week. I had been interested to find out who it would be as they had mentioned that this year it was going to be really exciting and being in our line of business, we're always interested in different mission news. Imagine the surprise to hear that we, The Beckwiths, were the mission! 

I had the chance to share briefly in the final service what we would be up to when we leave here in December. The response and giving yesterday was overwhelming and humbling, all at the same time. One of the biggest sacrifices for us when we started working with MAF, was totally relying on God, churches and supporters for our finances. Every step of the way God has been 100% faithful in his provision as long as we're faithful in following his pathway for us. Even now 3 years into the process, people's love and generosity is still just as surprising and overwhelming to me but without it we wouldn't be able to do what we're doing. Thank you so much to everyone at Coshocton Christian Tabernacle for surprising us once again.

Heating up!

So the weather is really heating up here in Ohio. By the middle of the week there are no temperatures estimated below 90 (32c) degrees in the 10 day forecast and the high humidity here means that it often feels a lot warmer than that! The irony being that it's actually about 10 degrees cooler in Dodoma, Tanzania, a lot less humid and a whole lot more pleasant!! You would imagine it to be the other way round. Can't wait to get there!

As I have mentioned before ... I'm learning to cook accordingly! Basically the HOT weather makes our house unbearable (even with our little window AC zappy things!) and so using the oven (or stove top) to cook is just not an option. Hence my new found love for the Crock-Pot! Today and tomorrow we have a little respite, with temperatures in the high 70's and so while I can, I've been cooking some family favourites in the oven, recipes I know are unlikely to come out again until autumn time.

Tonight we enjoyed a delicious Chicken Pot Pie recipe that a fellow MMS-er gave me last summer. It is a cheap and simple meal, I believe that she got from a student recipe book or something similar and even with quite a bare kitchen right now (I'm due for a trip to the store!), I still had all the ingredients to hand! I have to admit it was nearly just 'Pot Pie' tonight as I almost forgot to add the chicken ... Oops!

All four members of our family completely devour this meal. Naomi was really getting in there with her fork tonight ... a skill she is learning to master right now and when it is something really yummy like this she is a lot more enthusiastic to get on with it herself! There are never any leftovers when I cook this but as it has all the meat, potatoes and veggies inside, I don't usually serve anything alongside it. I guess if we have visitors I will have to serve it with fresh veggies or salad or something just to eek out the servings ... or just cook a double batch! See the recipe below.

Base
1 cup chicken broth/stock
1 onion, diced
1 potato, peeled and cubed
2 carrots, cubed
3 ribs of celery, cubed
1 cup cooked chicken, cubed (you can use beef instead)
2 Tbsp rue (1Tbsp butter + 1Tbsp flour)
1 tsp sage
1 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp pepper
handful peas & handful corn!

Biscuit Topping
1 1/2 cup flour
3/4 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp vinegar
3/4 tsp pepper
2 1/4 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 cup milk
3/4 cup melted butter

Melt butter and cook onions a little in a saucepan
Add flour to make rue
Add broth & seasonings ... bring to boil
Add veggies, boil for 7-8 mins
Mix in chicken
Put into baking dish
Whisk together biscuit topping ingredients
Spoon over the base
Bake at 375 degrees for 45 mins until browned

The Jubilympics

'The Queen's Diamond Jubilee and the 2012 Olympics. Combine the two and you get Jubilympics'

I first heard this expression last week and it made me laugh a lot. Having lived in the States for three years it now sounds very American to me to combine two words like that ... but fun too!

This weekend in the UK there will be a double bank holiday (Monday and Tuesday) and lots of celebrations for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, 60 years on the throne. I was a Jubilee baby, born on the Queens Silver Jubilee, June 2nd 1977 ... but the fact that my birthday falls tomorrow and we currently live in America means that I won't get to enjoy the long weekend my friends at home will.

Although we're in Ohio, in honour of the Jubilee, Abigail and I made Union Jack bunting today, out of Brit napkins someone had sent us and sparkly silver ribbon! (I would have included a photo of it but blogger isn't allowing me to add any for some reason even though I've only used a fraction of my storage space ... very frustrating! If that changes, I will change the photo!) Abigail wanted to put decorations up for my birthday but I told her that we would put some up for the Queen instead which she thought was great idea and then later asked 'Who's the Queen?'!!

Brits aren't often all that patriotic but this summer, I've no doubt that they will be going all out and in many ways I'm sorry we won't be there to join in. One thing on my 'Bucket List' is to go to the Olympic Games ... and to have them being hosted in my home town is a once in the lifetime event which I am really gutted to miss. Yes, I'm excited for all the opportunities we've had as a family to travel etc and do amazing stuff all over the world but I can't help feeling like we've had to sacrifice a little bit of our home culture by living in small town America over the summer of 2012.

If you're a Brit reading this ... enjoy your long weekend. I'll be thinking of you and following some of the Jubilee coverage on the tv and internet instead!

In the Right Place

Today is Monday, the beginning of a new day and a new week, sometimes I need that chance to 'start-over'!! While the week after we got back from Florida was a total chaotic whirlwind, this past week was more of an emotional one. I am just so glad we've reached the start of another new one again!!

Some may say it's coincidental that all these things just happened one after another, after another last week. Not to get all heavy and spiritual about it but I totally believe we came under attack as a result of being in the right place at the right time, exactly where God wanted us to be.

Going to bed last Sunday night, already feeling exhausted after the crazy week before, we knew we had a lot to prepare before this weekend (just gone) which seemed overwhelming at the time. Catching up with ourselves from our return from Florida and then with both the MOPS resale, sorting through all our baby stuff til late every night, setting up Friday and selling Saturday and our churches Mission Conference, Saturday evening and Sunday morning, lunch and evening for which we were one of the main speaking families with more preparation necessary, seemed quite enough to cope with.

Last Monday morning started as any other ... but then the bath stopped draining .. and then none of the sinks would drain anywhere but into the bath. It was gross and the plumber couldn't come til Wednesday! We only washed up our dishes once a day and it wasn't pleasant to see all the water revisit us in the bathroom! Monday evening Naomi started getting a temperature and over the following 48 hours was feverish, not eating properly, not sleeping well and not detaching herself from me, day or night. So imagine ... no shower, no sleep and no space! Not a good combination when I had SO much to get done. Each day got a little bit more difficult and a little bit more emotional. 

On Thursday morning Naomi started screaming unconsolably which when exhausted already (the night before I'd had the least sleep so far that week, 2 hours on the sofa and 2 in bed) was really tough. It seems she had reacted badly to her MMR vaccination the week before ... so for the rest of that day we just had to sit-out her discomfort and draw on strength that was definitely not our own.

Already in tears because of this and exhaustion, we then received an email offering us a placement after Ohio for our family with MAF. While it should have been joyous news, as we're really excited to see what God has next for us, it was to one of the few places we have always thought we wouldn't be comfortable going to ... the final straw on the toughest day of the week, knowing that we still had 3 full-on days ahead of us.

Add to all that, our usual perfect sleeping daughter woke up a few times and came in with us once (even less sleep!!) and tooth ache agony for me having cracked a tooth and lost a filling recently but not having had the chance to get it sorted out yet. You can see it was quite the week and these were just the big things that affected us along with the ordinary day-to-day stuff and a few other things!!!

Already this Monday, so many of the major issues have been resolved or made more manageable for which I'm sure I'll write about in the weeks to come. But even in the midst of it, we knew in our hearts that the reason it was all being thrown at us was because we were right in the centre of God's will for our lives. While that didn't make it any easier to experience, it was comforting to know  ... and to know that God was walking step-by-step through it with us.

Over the weekend, in spite of how we were feeling, we were really privileged to be able to share with our 'home church' here, all about our calling into mission, what we've done before, are doing now and are going to be doing, as well as challenging them about being willing to go into mission themselves. It seemed to be well received and we have gained new supporters as a result which was an unexpected surprise. We suspect that the conference and our chance to speak openly about God and all he has been doing in our lives was the root cause of everything else, however seemingly unrelated, that happened in the lead up to it.

Sunday night came and we both breathed a sigh of relief ... and as we expected life has totally calmed down. Following God's lead isn't always comfortable but it's certainly exciting. I'm grateful that I have the perfect partner in my husband, that we could stand firm and work together as equals to get through it with God at the centre. 

OK ... my little preach is over! ;o)

Property Ladder

Many people dream of owning a home, a place of their own and work towards achieving that goal for years. When I applied to study at All Nations, I was torn whether I should first work, save and buy property or just trust that God would work it all out and start studying straight away. 

It felt like the biggest sacrifice in the world, as a lot of my friends had just bought or were in the process of buying, places of their own and doing them up. It was something I would love to have been doing too and the hardest part of following what God was telling me to do. As it turned out, soon after I started at All Nations I met Mark ... and one of the 'perks' of marrying him was was that he had a flat. So technically once the ring was on my finger, I also owned property. (Apparently obedience to God results in him giving you what you wanted in the first place!)

Ironically though, today we have officially taken our feet OFF the property ladder! In a totally counter-cultural decision we realised it made more sense for us not to have a property in the UK right now ... for reasons I won't choose to bore you with! This morning we had the confirmation in an email that someone else now owns what yesterday had belonged to us! And we are so excited about it!

Since we first got married, we have never lived in the flat we owned, just rented it out. We have lived in 3 different places so far ... all of them rented and we will continue to do so for the at least the next decade because of the nature of our mission work. Our second home was the cutest so far (see below). A little stone cottage in a tiny village in Dorset, UK called Bradford Abbas and it's where we welcomed Abigail into the world so it will always hold a special place in our heart!

About four weeks after we first met we were talking about what our dream homes would be like. It was the most bizarre conversation as both myself and Mark found ourselves describing the same house!! That is not a joke!! We now continually find ourselves starting the sentence "When we eventually have a place of our own it will have ..."! So much so that we now refer to it as our 'Forever House' and what it will be like. Who knows where that house will be, but it's going to be amazing and in the meantime we will make wherever we are living home, even if we don't actually own it!