What DO you do?

Recently I have been asked several times what exactly I do out here in Tanzania. We're with MAF. Mark fixes the planes. So how do I spend my time?

I have been asked via email by people we don't know but who follow our news. I have been asked by friends that I used to hang out with while we lived in the States. I was even asked by new friends out here who don't live on our side of town. 

I think the assumption is that I don't do very much ... maybe just shop for food, cook it and look after the kids. I don't even have to clean as we have a Mama who comes in to do that. One lady here in Dodoma asked me if I was bored or lonely living on a compound with only one other family. Yeah right!!

I used to think much the same when I lived here before, that the MAF wives were 'busy doing nothing'! Just this last week I've had several different people asking me to do things for them and while I always try to help out, I've had to say no ... I just don't have the time at the moment!

I've shared before what I get up to out here for MAF and within the family in general terms. But I thought it would be interesting just to list what I have been doing, both for myself and for those of you who were wondering, what exactly it is that I do do out here! None of it is mind-blowing, none of it is particularly difficult, none of it is that different to what any other mum out here (or back home for that matter!) would do in a normal week ... it is just the nitty gritty of my life!

So here goes, just some of the things I have got up to over the last 8 days ...

• Shopping trip to the market
• Written a couple of cards to friends
• Played jigsaws and board games with the kids
• Watched a couple of movies and a few episodes of different TV series on DVD
• Went to church
• Did hospitality 4 times, twice because we had to for MAF and twice because we chose to
• Went swimming twice (once on my own, once with the family)
• Spent a couple of hours at the school taking photos and started editing them
• Shopping to some of the duka's
• Compiling the MAF Tz programme weekly news bulletin
• Kept up to date with emails (ish!)
• Had a Skype call/meeting with the current MMS Apprentice Wives group
• Did four lots of exercise
• Taught Naomi to play snap
• 5 loads of washing
• Fell asleep reading my book every night!!
• Wrote the agenda for a meeting, took notes in the meeting (which took place in the compound of a local mosque), wrote up the minutes
• Went out for lunch once
• Did the school run on the MAF bus three times
• Tried a couple of new recipes
• Listened to Abigail doing her daily reading for school
• Updated 2 different Facebook pages
• Arranged and supervised a couple of playdates
• Baked for and co-hosted a staff prayer meeting at our house
• Caught up with some friends
• Updated three pages on the school website
• Went to a Bible Study
• Had one afternoon siesta
• Learnt some new Swahili words
• Arranged a couple of meetings for over the next few weeks
• Started our online Christmas shopping

You might be under the impression that life is very different out here as a missionary but so much of it is just 'normal' everyday, mum stuff (just in a different setting, climate and sometimes a different language!) ... sorry if I have shattered any illusions you might have but this is a snapshot of the reality!!

The Best Thing

This month's guest post is from another missionary mum and MAF wife, Sarah Newnham, living in East Africa (like me!), but this time in Kampala, Uganda. Sarah and her husband, also Mark, went through the MMS programme in Ohio just like we did and have already completed the required 8 years service with MAF following that. I'm pleased to say they have chosen to continue their service with MAF. We had the chance to meet them/hang out with them/pick their brains (!!) with their eldest 2 children a few years ago when they revisited the MMS programme. Today she shares some thoughts living on the mission field both as a child herself and as a mother. You can read their family blog here.

I am a Missionary Mum but I am also an MK (missionary kid). I think we are often misunderstood and no one fully understands where we are coming from, except other MK’s. One thing that can usually be said about us is that we grow up with transition and the feeling that no one place is quite ‘home’. At the age of 22, I had lived in around 30 houses.

So in 2000, just a year after getting married, when Mark & I began our journey into missions I think I envisaged that life would continue to be one of transitions. That was OK. I enjoyed going to new places, meeting new people and travelling and after all, the other name for MAF is ‘Move Again Friend’! 

We lived in Ohio, USA for three years while Mark trained as an aircraft engineer and we then began serving with MAF in Uganda in 2005. I really thought that after a few years we would be moving on to a new location, but here we are eight years later, still living in Uganda. 

Why? The simple answer is that this is where God wants us to be and we don’t yet feel he is asking us to move. However, there are several reasons and this lack of transition has not always been easy for me to deal with. I am an MK/third culture kid after all … moving is what I am good at. The thought of moving home, particularly to another country, may fill most of you with fear and anxiety but I find it quite exciting. 

Several years ago, we were offered the opportunity to move. I would have loved to go, as the post on offer would have taken us to the country where my parents were serving as missionaries. How wonderful it would be to live near my mum and dad but Mark was not ready for all the new role would entail. How I willed it to be different and yet, deep down I knew I had to accept what was best for Mark. He needed to gain more experience here in Uganda. 

One of the best things that has come out of living in Uganda is that this is where two of our children come from. Mark & I were unable to have our own children and God blessed us with two amazing children that we have adopted here. Amy & Joshua are now 7 and 6 years old. Just last year we had a biological child, Abigail. They are each miracles in their own way but that is another whole story in itself! 

While I cope well with transition, we have one child in particular who does not. I may struggle to think of anywhere as ‘home’ but this is most definitely ‘home’ for Amy & Joshua. Uganda is the country they come from, the only place they have ever lived and it has become clear to us how important it is for them in building their identity that they know something of this beautiful country and culture for themselves. They are one of the reasons we have not moved on. 

There are times that it seems like a sacrifice for me to stay in one place but I realise that God is doing it for a couple of reasons ... 

It is the best thing for my whole family right now. As a mum, I want what is best for my children and right now that is stability. God wants what is best for us and a happy/well adjusted family will last far longer on the mission field. 

It is the best thing for me. I have realised that it is tough staying in one place. It is simply easier for me to be the one who moves on to new places and challenges but staying put and being the one left behind is hard for me. I have had to say many good byes to close friends and colleagues this year. I still grieve at times but God wants me to grow in this area of trusting him when I am the one left behind. The experience is drawing me closer to the One who remains the same and is always there, Jesus, and I am thankful for this season of my life in which God is teaching me to make transitions, in terms of building new friendships and finding new things to do even when I am still in the same location.

Are We There Yet?

Today I want to introduce you to another great friend and Missionary Mum. I met Kristin when our husbands trained together at MMS Aviation. We arrived (and left) within a few months of each other. In many ways we are on the same journey and in other ways our stories are completely different. I am so grateful that our paths crossed when they did, we have shared lots of giggles as well as lots of struggles together and as Naomi's other fairy god-mother, I am pleased to say she will forever remain part of my life! Kristin, her husband and three sons are in the process of joining JAARS a mission based in North Carolina.

Are we there yet?

How many times have we heard that from our children as we travel down the road? Annoying, right? This time I find it’s me whining to my heavenly Father, “This is taking forever. When will we get there? I can’t stand it.” 

Eight months ago we finished our assignment at MMS Aviation. We were eager to get our hands dirty and put to use all that we had learned over our 3 years in Ohio. It was in our hearts to move our family to North Carolina and pursue service with JAARS, an organization that provides practical day to day support (aviation, land transportation, water transportation, information technology, and media) to Bible translators working all over the globe giving the Word of God to people in their own heart language. We prayed, sought wise counsel, and decided to go for it. 

Thus began the process… 

We found a house to rent and hurried back to Ohio to pack our things, cheerfully saying our goodbyes and boldly moving ahead. We set up house. Paul volunteered in the hangar for 2 months and I worked to settle the children and start back to homeschooling. We all began to make friends and find activities we enjoyed. Things were off to a good start. 

January brought another round of exams for Paul, 10 days of oral and practical examination to see if he has the skills to work effectively on the mission field. It was challenging and exhausting but Paul passed (only by God’s grace according to him) and we were offered an position here at the JAARS headquarters where he would start as a mechanic and eventually participate in research and development projects that would utilize his previous aerospace and mechanical engineering experience. Sounds great, right? 

On to the next step… 

Full time missionaries working in aviation at JAARS are expected to join a mission organization, specifically Wycliffe Bible Translators. That means going through a process that includes written applications, interviews for both us and the children, budget projections, administrative details and lots of decision making. We began in February and signed as members of Wycliffe in early May. 

What that means is… 

Now it is June. In August, we will begin a time of training and partner development with Wycliffe that can last for up to two years. The rule is for us to work on that exclusively. This potentially means no airplanes for Paul for the next 18 months. It means Paul working from home with all of us doing school at home. We think it will mean time apart as Paul travels to see our supporters alone. We also think it will mean travel and school on the road together with two teenagers and a very talkative eight year old. Can anyone say “Aaaahhhhggggg”… 

Here’s another sticky detail. Throughout the process, our monthly financial support has been at least $1,000 shy of meeting our needs and yet we have not gone into debt and we are not begging for bread. Wow, right? 

So this is our way forward, narrow and “pinchey” as it may be. Would I choose it? Of course not. But I will walk it, with God’s grace and help. 

May I share with you what has become my life verse? “So work with fear and trembling to discover what it really means to be saved. God is working in you to make you willing and able to obey Him.” Philippians 2:13 (CEV) 

As He is faithful, may we be found faithful - regardless of the hurdles, regardless of the time investment, regardless of the questions.

Seven False Assumptions

Today is February's guest blog, by a Missionary Mum right here in Dodoma, Tanzania. Patricia is from New Zealand and first came to Dodoma to teach as a single lady. She is now an MAF wife to Thomas, an engineer from Northern Ireland (who went through the same training as Mark at MMS) and a mummy to Grace, Naomi's new best friend. 

The McKelvey's are our next-door neighbours here in Dodoma and have been key in helping us settle in. Today Patricia writes some words of wisdom aimed at me and Mark ... but could be for anyone embarking on mission at home or overseas.

Several years ago this document was written by Anne Stoothoof (MAF US Alumna) and it was passed onto to the wider MAF community. When I first read it I was amazed how perceptive it is. At different times on our journey Thomas or/and I have realised we have fallen into one of these dangerous assumptions. I have a printed out copy that often lives above my computer.

Jenny and Mark have only been living next to me in Dodoma a week. Although I realise they have been on the journey for several years. It's quite a serious list but I hope it will help Mark and Jenny to be able to recognise these assumptions when they arise.

But may your honeymoon time as you start your life in Dodoma be a long one and I pray the creepy crawlers that you have met this week won't put you off.

SEVEN FALSE ASSUMPTIONS THAT WILL KILL YOUR JOY

1. If I go where God leads me, the people will love me

‘The servant is not greater than his Lord’ - John 13:16

If I do God’s will God will love me, though he loves me even if I do not.

2. I will be useful in every area I will attempt to serve

‘God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the things that are despised and thethings that are not … so that no one may boast before him’ - 1 Corinthians 1:27-29

Just because I came here, doesn’t mean every need is my responsibility to meet, nor that I will be able to meet all needs.

3. What I do will make a significant (noticeable, appreciated) difference

‘For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal’ - 2 Corinthians 4:18

I have to be willing to be faithful to do what God wants me to do, whether it is seen by others or not.

4. I will be adequate for the task

‘For when I am weak, then I am strong’ - 2 Corinthians 12:10

No matter how much I think I know, I need to know more about brokenness than about ability.

5. I will gain a sense of belonging - fitting in with ease

‘He will be despised and rejected of man, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief’ - Isaiah 53:3

While trying to bridge the language and culture barriers, I must still be willing to be rejected, and to love anyway.

6. If none or few of the above are true, I am a failure

‘Measuring yourselves by yourselves and comparing yourselves against yourselves, you become unwise’ - 2 Corinthians 10:12

No one is a failure who seeks the pleasure of God alone.

7. If all or some of the above are true, I am a success

‘God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of my Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me and I unto the world’ - Galatians 6:14

For whose sake am I trying to succeed? If I win all the cross-cultural crowns and forget the cross, I lose all.

Definition of a 'Calling'

Today I want to introduce you to someone very special to me. Laurie arrived in Coshocton 5 months after I did with my family. The difference was though, that her husband was permanent staff and there for the long haul and not an apprentice who would only be there for three years. Between them they have 5 children and 11 grandchildren, who all live within about 4 hours drive of their home. We became good friends really quickly and she was one of the people I was really sad to say goodbye to when we left Ohio. 

We will forever be linked though, as she is one of Naomi's (fairy) godmothers! Laurie has also got involved with MMS and has taken a leadership role with regards to the Apprentice Wives group as well as other things. She also writes a devotional blog called Providence Smiles which is based around the book of Acts (although not exclusively), a study we have been working through together as apprentice wives, looking at the first missionary experiences. But today she writes, very honestly, for me ...

I live what some might view as a small life. 

The alarm goes off. It is 5:30am. My husband gets out of bed and starts going about his day. He needs to be at the Missionary Maintenance Services Aviation (MMS) hanger by 7:30. 

I, on the other hand, snuggle down under the covers and doze back to sleep. Our children are grown and my husband can take care of himself therefore, I feel no hurry to get out of bed on this cold January morning. Around 7:00 I arouse myself. I then read through email, do my morning exercise routine and eat a breakfast of oatmeal, berries, walnuts and yogurt. I eat this every morning. My day continues with varying activities that range from shopping for meals, preparing meals, doing laundry, folding laundry, coffee with friends (on a good day) and working around the yard (on warmer days). 

Between the chores and activities of every day life I get to spend time writing. I began writing an inspirational/devotional book three years ago geared toward the wives of the apprentice’s at MMS. Writing is something I have always imagined myself doing. I know this because when I discovered a box of journals I had kept in high school I talked about aspirations of becoming a writer. Then when I uncovered another journal I kept from just five years ago I read again about my dream of writing. 

At around 4:45 my husband gets home, we chit chat, laugh at each other’s jokes, eat dinner and spend the evening, once again doing varying tasks.

This brings me to the question, how do I title this life I am leading? On some days I fathom myself a missionary. This comes from the fact that my husband and I serve with a missionary organization (MMS). 

However, the reality of the situation is that we don’t have what many would picture as the “missionary life.” Three years ago we took early retirement, moved from the city of Cincinnati (population 300,000) to the small town of Coshocton (12,000) for the sole purpose of serving at MMS, an American based mission. We are not deprived of most of our life comforts, our culture shock is minimal and we have no language barrier. If we take an opportunity to evangelize we have no worries of being threatened or persecuted. The majority of our financial support comes from our pension benefit, not a church or other faith support. Once again, this is not how the population at large envisions the missionary life. Nor is it how most missionaries live. 

Therefore, if I am living this life that appears small and not experiencing what many would visualize as a missionary’s large life what right do I have to give myself the title of missionary? If I live my life in the U.S instead of crossing an ocean to live can I qualify as a missionary? If I am not evangelizing am I a missionary? These are some of the questions I’ve asked God and myself. I haven’t yet settled into any answers. In my mind it seems complicated and unclear. 

When other people ask me the question, “what do you do?” I often resort to answering with, “missionary”. Interestingly, very few people ask questions beyond that. However, I often feel the need to validate this with more of a description. I clear my throat and talk about all the wonderful things MMS does, my husband’s part and my part. 

Having shared my ambivalence about how to title my life I also want to share some things I do know. I know my husband and I both felt a “calling” on our lives to be here in Coshocton at MMS. Therefore, three years ago we took the early retirement; we packed our bags and sold our home. We left a place we loved. We left our family, our friends and our church. 

A “calling” is another one of those terms that seems gray and unclear. When I think of a calling it means I am able to look back and see a series of events that pointed me in one direction. In addition there were needs and desires placed inside of me that had to be fulfilled. These needs and desires are somewhat similar to times when I feel hungry. During those moments I know that only food is going to stop the hunger pain, to fill the void or to satisfy. I had needs and desires to live for something bigger then myself and for a purpose that would have eternal results. To accomplish this I knew I needed to depend on God. Only He provides the courage to live as I feel called instead of how others think I should. 

To make the explanation of a “calling” even more specific is to say that I am living my life based on faith. This faith in God allows me to believe that He is at work in my life. It does not mean that I always enjoy the purpose or the process. Nor does it mean I don’t miss what I have given up. However, what it does mean is what appears to most as a small life is not small to the God of the universe. It is what He created me for at this God created moment. I also have the faith that He is continuing to create me for moments He is constructing for the future. 

Lastly, I know that to not have taken the unique opportunity to live out the call for my life would have been wrong. My life would some how seemed cheapened, robbed and shallow. 

Also, I would not have been given the opportunity at this moment to write about my perplexing yet oddly extraordinary life. 

"For it was You who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I will praise You because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well." 

Psalm 139.13-14

The MAF Office

Before we were living in Ohio at MMS Aviation, while we were there and when we are out in Tanzania ... there is always a whole load of people working away in the MAF UK offices in Kent, making all the details for us, our supporters, other overseas staff, families in the application process and a million other bit and pieces, fall into place.

Some of them we have been in touch with since the beginning, others we only know by name ... some we've been emailing back and forth with over the last year or so but have never met face to face. Each one of them though are really important to us and the work that MAF gets to do throughout the world but often (not always) because they aren't the faces of the actual pilots or engineers out on the mission field with MAF, almost get overlooked. Without them and their support we wouldn't be able to be doing what we're doing or be able to serve the ministry of MAF overseas.

Yesterday, as a family, we got to visit the MAF UK offices. They are relatively near where we are based right now, so it wasn't a huge undertaking to be able to do that and yet so helpful for both us and them to become more than just a face on a prayer card or an email address. We were able to catch up with some of the staff we have got to know well, get a few questions answered face-to-face rather than with a half a dozen emails going back and forth, meet some new people and give a presentation to all the staff, updating them on where we are on our MAF journey. 

It was also a really good opportunity to give feedback on our first stage with MAF and talk through some of the details of what is to come with people who know and understand the processes that we're going through and are working hard to make them as straight forward as possible for us. 

Being the admin half of our family, I have more likely been the one emailing backwards and forwards with them all at the office and I enjoyed being able to talk through some of the things we've been corresponding about and thanking the individuals personally for all they do on a regular basis on our behalf. They really are a bunch of superstars, so if you work in the MAF UK office and I didn't get a chance to say hello and thank you in person for whatever reason yesterday, we really do appreciate all you do for us! 

The "Goodbye's" Have Begun

With just over a week to go ... our goodbye's have begun in earnest. 

Last weekend we had the MMS Christmas celebration and next weekend our Sunday School class will be having their's. It has been a great opportunity for us as a family to see everyone in a couple of places and say goodbye's to those friends who have have been part of our lives for these last three years without having to arrange anything ourselves.

Four of the MAF/MMS munchkins at the Christmas Party

Goodbye's aren't just reserved for people though ... there will be places that we won't get to visit again, restaurants we won't get to eat in, shops we won't get to frequent and family traditions we've started, that we won't be able to continue once we've moved on from here.

While I'm really excited about the next step, I always love the next adventure and all the new things, friends and experiences that come with it. When a chapter in my life comes to an end, I hate the thought that I won't get to do all the things that are part of our life as a family right now ... and can get very sentimental.

The missionary lifestyle can be difficult as there are always a lot of comings and goings of people and good friends and while the goodbye's are tough, life keeps going in your own home. This time however, we're the ones who are going and so the wrench is going to be that much bigger, especially because it will be a couple of months before we have the chance to properly settle again.

I have really enjoyed our three years in the States, while it hasn't always been easy there have been some really special moments, including the arrival of Naomi. Every day of these last few weeks have been full of goodbye's and 'last time' experiences that I'm trying to treasure ... before we have the chance to create a whole load more where we make our next home.

Things I have learnt ...

This evening was my last Apprentice Wives meeting. For most of the time we've been living in the States, a group of us have met two evenings a month to share, encourage and learn from one another, while our husbands have been training in the MMS hangar.

As this was my last meeting I was asked to share what I have learnt over our time here.  When I started thinking about it, there were lots of useful (and not so useful things) that I have had to learn over recent years, so I started to make a list!

Some of these things I've been learning since my first missions trip to Iringa, Tanzania, back in 1997 (15 years ago!) and that continue to be relevant. Some I learnt to expect from my studies at All Nations and have now had a chance to put them into practice. Some are from personal experience and some are from observing others. Some are sensible and others are not ... but they are all things I've learnt since I started my journey into missions!! 

In no particular order ...

• How to drive on the other side of the road
• How to raise and maintain support 
• To appreciate Fair food Stateside ... deep fried oreos, funnel cake, corn dogs
• The differences between having a baby in the UK and the USA
• To be content whatever the resources and circumstances 
• How to plan and enjoy long road trips with little munchkins
• To speak a different language (American English can be very different)
• That the more you give (time/money/resources), the more you receive
• To always clarify the details when asked to do something (over and over) ... what you understand someone to be saying might not be what you’re being asked
• That God is interested and faithful in all the details
• Not to come with expectations
• That Americans will never fully understand the expression ‘A nice cup of tea’ in the same way Brits do!
• To look for where you can be useful, you can always make an important contribution
• That new culture’s aren’t wrong, they’re just different 
• That your family comes first, if you want to remain on the mission field 
• To find ways to extend hospitality to others because they often won’t extend it to you
• How to shoot a gun
• To take time to get settled as a family before getting involved in too many things
• That God really does supply all your needs, often in unexpected ways
• How to survive on very little sleep for prolonged periods of time
• To be intentional in making friendships
• How to be a mum to more than one daughter
• To enjoy iced-tea and endless refills of drinks at restaurants
• That when you invest time praying for difficult relationships, God can really turn them around in ways you couldn’t even imagine
• To appreciate some of the ‘cheesy’ American Christian movies and literature 
• That we are blessed with the full support of our family (even though they’re a long way away)
• Small town America is not the America of the movies
• To live for the last week before payday every month with no money
• That it’s important to find yourself replacement ‘family’ where you live
• That everyone deals with transition in different ways, don’t take it personally
• How to make a quilt
• That God continues to see the bigger picture and has got it all worked out perfectly, making time for him, helps you ‘sweat the big stuff’ less!

I look forward to learning even more stuff as the journey continues!

Ideas for the Newbie Missionary Mum

Today I want to introduce Amy to you. I met Amy and her family in Ohio, USA when we visited for a week's evaluation at MMS Aviation. Amy is American and her husband David is from Peru. They had us round for dinner that week, in March 2009 and that is the only time we've actually been in the same place at the same time, as they had moved on by the time we arrived in the States permanently! They are now based in Bolivia working with South American Mission. David fixes planes and Amy is a homeschooling, blogging mum of 3, in her own words 'two born in my womb and one was born in my heart'. You can check out her own blog at 'Missional Mama'.

Amy's topic for this post is a very timely reminder for me, as we're right in the middle of packing and about to set up life in a whole new place ...

Four Ideas for the Newbie Missionary Mom (or Mum!)

So, you are heading overseas. There is so much to do getting ready with selling, storing, packing, saying goodbye not to mention making sure you have filled out every form, raised the support needed, and sent the appropriate letters. It is overwhelming!

Likely, you will sit on the airplane with a small sense of relief because everything that could be done is and now the new adventure will begin. You will soon try new foods, meet co-workers, and probably look for a home. New often equals fun…at least at the beginning.

Shortly though, things may not seem as “romantic” as they did when you were preparing to come and sharing with partners. You may feel like you don’t fit, your kids may show signs of stress, and you could begin to second guess whether you can really handle this life after all. You are not alone!

Here are four reminders to help you as you move into this new life …

1. RELAX

When moving the family and kids overseas, we soon find that the outside pressures of life in our home country (ex: to have the perfect family with amazingly gifted children) changes a little. On the field, we still want our kids to excel or at least to do well, but they also need to do much of life in another language. They will also need to learn things taught in new and confusing ways. This can be hard on kids and parents alike.

It is essential for missionary moms to consider what needs to be done and focus on that. For example, if your kids need to learn the language, find a way to make that happen and let other outside activities go for now. We all know that kids need time to play and be creative. Scheduling every moment of life is not healthy for anyone and will likely be frustrating in your new culture. Ask God to help you decide with what to be involved and then free yourself from worrying about it.

2. FEEL

Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. It is not easy to change cultures. You won’t magically fit in and you will make lots of mistakes. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to talk, find a trustworthy friend. When people leave again and it hurts, be upset. If you get depressed, let God walk with you in that too. The thing is that it will likely be very hard, at least at times, and that is OK!

3. CULTIVATE

One of my life goals (that I borrowed from former president and chancellor of the Moody Bible Institute, Dr. George Sweeting) is to, “cultivate my inner life”. This is especially crucial for handling overseas living. Find what feeds you in devotions, learn to study the Bible, pray, and read quality Christian books. Listen to sermons in your native tongue and talk with solid friends. Know God and out of that will flow the living words and actions for others.

4. INVEST

Not only is it important to learn the language to the best of your ability but also to get to know the people. Investing time in the lives of the nationals helps you understand and capture the culture as well as fall in love with the people you are there to serve. It seems like this would be a natural aspect of every missionary, but you will find that flocking towards like-minded people (from your home culture) is the easier thing to do. You will need time with people that understand you, but be intentional about investing in the culture, language, and people to whom God has called you. Also, remember that language learning and cultural adaptation is different for everyone; resist the urge to compare yourself with others.

I have noticed that there is a lot of guilt in motherhood and I would say life on the mission field can grow that guilt if we are not careful. God called you to your culture and He gave you the family that you have. He has a plan for your children that you cannot comprehend which includes living in a third culture.

May God be with you as you work towards raising children and living life for His glory!

Moving Time

Almost exactly three years ago, a family of three Beckwith's moved from the UK to Coshocton, Ohio to begin the apprenticeship programme at MMS Aviation. It seems like such a long time ago now. Within a month of us arriving, another family from Alabama also arrived to start. They too have recently finished and tomorrow they will get into their cars and drive away for the last time, to their new destination.

It makes our move seem a whole lot closer and there is a lot to do before then. But what is so significant about this particular family's move? The 'Missionary Mum' of that family is Kristin. Since we both arrived here, we have become great friends and shared an awful lot over the last three years ... she is even one of Naomi's godmothers. There have been both times of great joy and huge frustration which we have made it through. We were the 'new' girls together and although our backgrounds and missions experience were completely opposite, we clicked straight away and have had lots of giggles ever since.

Here is a photograph of my wonderful friend taken by another good friend, Cayton Heath at one of her recent photo shoots.

I have been so blessed by Kristin's friendship, we have learnt so much from each other and I'm so grateful that God put us in the same place for our MMS experience. I know that God will put someone new in both of our lives, who is equally as special, as we move on from here ... but also know that however far apart we are across the miles, our friendship will still be extra special. 

It does make goodbye's hard when someone so special leaves, it's one of the downsides of the missionary lifestyle, which doesn't become any less difficult however many times you do it. On the plus side (there always has to be a plus side!!!), selfishly, with Kristin and her family leaving first, our goodbye's in a couple of months time will be slightly easier with one less extra special friend to say farewell to ... although there are still a few tough goodbye's on the cards for me.

'Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave and impossible to forget'

Would I trade these friendships so that I could avoid the painful goodbyes? No way. They make me who I am today ... I'm grateful to have really good friends around the world, many of whom I can pick up with where we left off, with no problems, however long it's been. Good friends have always been and will always be SO important to me. I look forward to seeing who God has got prepared to be part of my life for the next stage and am just extremely grateful that I will always get to take my bestest friend (my hubby) with me wherever I go!

One Certified Mechanic

Today was the day that we have been working towards as a family ever since we arrived here in Ohio ... and in fact, ever since we joined MAF back in June 2009. Mark took the final part of his Airframe and Power plant exams and is now certified to fix aircraft and more specifically for us now the aircraft that MAF fly in Dodoma, Tanzania. Naomi was helpfully pointing it out on the huge world map up at the MMS hangar just after Mark qualified this afternoon, if you weren't already clued in to where it is!

As I've said before, I am SO SO proud of him and the hard work that he has had to put in to get to this point. It hasn't always been easy and there have been many times since we signed up for this that Mark has said he felt a real pressure, that he had moved his family across the world for him to get this qualification with us being dragged along but that it was all down to him. Of course, I have totally believed in him and his abilities from the start and took great pleasure in saying 'I told you so' this afternoon when he finally passed, with flying colours!

As there are many families who have gone before us, it has been helpful to hear their input about both the apprenticeship and exam period. Most have reported that the latter is 'horribly stressful' and as with the apprenticeship itself, although the guys are the ones to do all the 'work', it really is a family effort throughout the whole process. 

While some people may see that our time here is all about what Mark is doing, we have certainly seen it as a team effort, in order for us to get to the next stage, an MAF project. Last night, before embarking on the final day of his exams, he thanked me for everything I had done to get him and us to this point and that without it being joint undertaking he would never have made it. 

I love how we have always worked together in everything, pretty much since we first met, whoever appears to be doing the 'important' stuff! Today really is all about him though and the incredibly hard work that he has had to put in over the last three years and more importantly over the last month with the exams. He is now not only a very proficient (and in the UK, head-hunted) aircraft design engineer but he is now an FAA certified mechanic, ready to use his skills for God in Africa ... He rocks!

Learning

The whole point of our three years here is to learn ... not just Mark in the hangar but all of us. 

Whether it be to learn more ...

• about each other as a family
• from the mission community around us who have years of experience between them
• from living and adapting to a new culture (we have established that it is very different from the UK, here in Ohio!)
• from friendships we have made here and from our supporters at home
• from apprentices and their families who have gone before us
• from God and the lessons he is teaching us on our missionary journey 
• ... or many other things!!!!!

I have a good friend who takes every situation that she finds herself in, from the daily mundane stuff to the big things as an opportunity to be teachable. She makes it a priority to look for lessons to be learned, in everything ... and over the years that I have known her, she has grown so much as a result. I have a lot that I can learn from her, I know that I am not always as quick to look to for ways to grow through the situations that I find myself in as she can be.

On the flip side I have other friends, who are so quick to jump to conclusions about situations, that they don't stop to take in all the information, or are willing enough to be teachable, they just bowl straight in and have often offended in the process. While that sounds extreme, it can be a reality and when viewed in contrast with my other friend, seems incredibly arrogant, rather than dealing with situations with the humility we should ideally display. 

We're all prone to do it though, as alas we're only human. I've come to appreciate that I just need to work on making the most of every learning opportunity that comes my way and when it's not obvious, take a moment to look for it because it will inevitably be there ... somewhere! I still have a long way to go!

This pile of books has been Mark's nemesis for the last three years. This has been his main learning assignment (and a more traditional one) since we've been in the States ... the whole reason we're here. From the chapter tests he took during the first year or two (of which there were 46, one taken every 10 days), to the three FAA written exams at the end of his apprenticeship, the third of which he passed with flying colours (as he did with the other two!) this morning. Now he only has the oral and practical elements left and these books won't be quite so intimidating anymore!

Both at All Nations and here at MMS we've had the opportunity to learn and grow more as individuals and as a family. To make our relationships with each other stronger, the foundations of our faith deeper and the ability to be effective as missionaries greater. Once we get to Tanzania, we will just continue to learn ... and attempt to be as teachable as possible. That will have to be a conscious decision and one we will probably find ourselves recommitting to on a daily basis ... but consciously trying to learn through all circumstances is the only way we will be the most valuable in our roles.

Link

Over the last few weeks I have been emailing backwards and forwards with some 'new friends' ... soon to be good friends and next-door neighbours! They are our Link Family and are already well-established MAF missionaries serving in Dodoma, Thomas and Patricia McKelvey, with a daughter, Grace, who is just 2 months younger than Naomi.

When we got news that they were our Link Family we were both really pleased. Not only had we met them a year or so ago when they made a quick visit to Coshocton ... we shared a short discussion in somebodies garage while waiting for the guest of honour at a surprise party! But Thomas was one of the first MAF Engineers to go through the MMS programme (very useful for Mark) ... and Patricia had her own calling to serve out in Dodoma (like me back in 1999-2001). It was in Dodoma that Thomas and Patricia met! So, a perfect fit for us as a family!

As with all things, like moving your family across the world, it seems that to some extent guys just assume everything will come together, while the women pay attention to the details. So, I have been in touch with Patricia about all kinds of things for both our look-see visit in November and our move there in the New Year. Discussing everything from ATMs and internet, chocolate chips and ziplock bags, to house girls and appropriate clothing ... and all the subjects in between. Today, we chatted on Skype for the first time to save having to type quite so much in emails with all the information flying back and forth ... and I know it was definitely the first of many Skype calls before we get there!

With SO much to think about at this end ... it's really reassuring to know that there is someone who is looking out for our best interests at the other end too, working out the schedule for our visit and sorting out our house for when we move amongst other things! It's been fun to hear just how much Dodoma has changed in the last decade since I lived there too ... for example, it made me laugh to hear that there are now 10 ATM's in town! When I lived there, there was only one that we knew of in Dar Es Salaam, a whole days drive away. Just one of many differences I look forward to discovering myself in only a few months time ... as well as getting to know the McKelvey's a lot more and the other MAF families.

Blink of an Eye

When we signed up with MAF, we knew that one requirement for us as a family, would be to complete the MMS programme. This meant approximately three more years of training. Having just had two years at All Nations, it seemed like another long stint of preparation time rather than being out 'doing mission'.

Before Mark could qualify as an aircraft maintenance engineer, he would have to complete 4,800 hours in the hangar and then take 3 written tests, one oral and one practical. We still felt this was the right route for us as a family, even with three years in the States. In fact, the majority of the planes Mark has been training on have been mission aircraft, now being used all over the world ... so in reality, he (along with the other guys in the hangar) have had a much farther reaching impact in the world of mission aircraft here at MMS, than he will once we're based in one place with MAF!

Well, guess what? Today, those 4,800 hours are complete ... what a big milestone in our family! In some respects they have flown by in the blink of an eye but so much has happened in the meantime. Including two trips back to the UK, Marks rapid response to PNG and ours as a family to Florida ... as well as gaining an additional member of the family last Easter when Naomi was born here in the States, to name just a few.

4pm today ... 4,800 hours done!

Having met at All Nations, we have always felt that our mission journey has been a joint venture, rather than me following Mark fulfil his calling. I know that when we moved here, Mark felt very responsible to make it work because we had moved for 'his' training but while he's been learning in the hangar, the girls at home have been learning lots too.

This next month or two will include Mark's exams and may feel a little more stressful than normal. I know that the weight of responsibility will weigh heavily on him once again as he takes each part of his examinations but I'm so proud of him and all he has achieved in his 4,800 hours in the hangar. I know that a lot of what he didn't know at the beginning will just be second nature to him now and it will be a lot more straight forward than he is expecting!

Our next phase of transition officially starts now!

Playing the Waiting Game

When I left All Nations in the summer of 2007, I had acquired both my diploma and a husband! After two years of mission focused study and lots of practical hands on experience, we were all trained up and eager to know what the next step for us as family would be. 

The only thing we knew was that we wanted one year in the UK as we'd only been married 6 months, to have a little time to cement our marriage relationship before embarking on the next exciting adventure. We just had to figure out where we would spend that year and what we would do from there.

Our parents were really supportive and we were able to stay at both their houses while we looked for work and somewhere to live. We began the summer full of anticipation ... the world was literally our oyster. Every night we prayed together that God would show us the right direction and every day we seemed to hit a brick wall ... a big blank. 

As the summer progressed we got less and less excited by the prospect of being able to do anything and go anywhere ... and got more and more frustrated with the lack of feedback we were getting from God! We were constantly being asked by interested family and friends what we were going to be doing, where we were going to live, did we have a job yet ... should we just do something/anything in the meantime. After a couple of months, what did we have to show for it ... absolutely nothing!

Back up to just before we left All Nations. A good friend of ours had been praying and told us she really felt God was asking us to wait on him. We were waiting ... of course we were ... but also pushing and being pushed to move forward ... apparently that doesn't constitute waiting! 

There was one particular week where we were almost at the end of our tethers, when parents were away and we had a house to ourselves, when we decided maybe we should 'just wait' and not try and 'do' anything related to our future and just hang out and have fun. Interestingly, on the Tuesday we both finally felt confirmation that we should apply to MAF UK, by the Thursday Mark had a job and on the Friday we had found a house. It seems that listening to God and actually obeying, instead of thinking we knew what we were doing, was all we needed to do. The rest they say is history!

This week some really good friends of ours (the Gettles, pictured below) just completed the apprenticeship programme here at MMS Aviation. We started here around the same time, in the Autumn of 2009 and as Paul had already accrued some hours in another hangar was able to finish a little bit ahead of Mark. All the Brits who come through the MMS programme are already signed up to serve with MAF afterwards. Typically the American apprentices often don't have a mission until nearer the end. 

In the case of the Gettles, in spite of pushing doors and visiting different missions, the next step isn't yet clear for them. After going through the training (just like we had at All Nations) and being eager and ready to serve, wherever God would have them ... there are no clear answers yet and they are now taking it one day at a time and trying not to give into the frustrations.

Following the adventure of a family in mission isn't always straight forward and can be incredibly frustrating (you can ask my hubby ... I am not the most patient of people!). The lessons we learn along the way can be tough and unexplainable, but help us be more effective further down the track. Whether it is just to testify that the waiting pays off to another family who are in the same position or something more. I'm just grateful that God has it all well planned out from his view point and as long as we're faithful to him, he'll look out for us and be faithful right back at us!

Jeremiah 29:11For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Going 'Home'!

Yesterday we got some news as a family that we had been waiting for, for several months now (see NEWSFLASH!). As we're nearing the end of our time here in the States and Mark has almost completed his training with MMS Aviation, the next step for us is to find out just where God has for us to serve as an MAF family.

The email arrived yesterday lunchtime with the Subject Title 'Dodoma It Is' ... and our reaction was ... 'WOW, we're going to Tanzania'!

For me, it's even more exciting. My own mission experience started with a 3 week trip to Iringa, Tanzania in 1997 where I fell in love with the country ... and then I had two years teaching in Dodoma from 1999-2001. I knew that there was a strong possibility that we could spend some time working there when we applied to MAF but I didn't want to 'count my chickens before they were hatched' ... and now it's all been confirmed!

My reaction yesterday was just to repeat 'Oh my goodness, oh my goodness' over and over again! I knew when I left Dodoma in the summer of 2001 that I would like to return someday somehow, even if it was just for a visit. Then when I met Mark I also wanted to be able to show him that part of my life 'one day'. So for us to be based there for our first term with MAF is like a dream come true for me and I still can't quite believe it!

All my ex-pat friends have since moved on, although I have remained in touch with many of them. (Several have been in touch in the last 24 hours and told me they want to come and visit when we're settled ... as they want to go down memory lane and bring their families too!) I have also kept in touch with some of my Tanzanian friends and am so excited that I will get to see them all again! I'd better brush up on my Swahili!!!

I know that a lot will have changed in the last 13 years ... for example I see that there is now an Italian restaurant with crazy golf in town, yes, really ... and I'm not naive enough to think that it will all be the same. Just the chance to return to somewhere that has a special place in my heart, live there again and make new memories with my family means so much to me.

One friend who taught with me out there, sent me a message today saying 'You are going home!' ... I guess in some ways that is exactly what is going to happen ... I'll just be living on a different side of town this time!! Bring it on!!

Evaluation Time

Just over three years ago (March 2009) we travelled out from the UK to Ohio for a week to visit MMS Aviation, as the final part of our assessment and evaluation in the MAF UK application process. We had already been through various rounds of interviews to get to that point, this was the final hurdle. It's not an easy process to become a missionary and believe it or not, we know friends that have had even more complicated applications than ours! (As you can see, Abigail has grown up a lot since then ... she was just 6 months old at the time!)

So much has happened since then. We moved out here 6 months later (September 2009) after raising our support, settled in small town America, added to the family with the arrival of Naomi, taken various trip through and to different States and now are beginning to look ahead. Mark's 4,800 hours in the hangar are almost completed (I'm so proud of him!) and then only the imminent round of exams, before we start preparing to pack up and move again ... to only God knows where!

It's amazing to look back and see how much has changed since the evaluation and to remember that week. Being 'on show' and being evaluated by everyone that you meet with day time and evening appointments, after travelling to the States with a young baby and adjusting to the 5 hour time change! Knowing that you are exactly where God wants you to be and just hoping that everyone else is on the same page!

Why am I remembering all that today? Since we've been here there have been various other families come through for evaluation, some have continued with the application process and are in the support raising stage, some are already here and other decided that actually MMS wasn't the next step that God had for them. This week another family are here and today the apprentice wives and children had the pleasure of hosting a lunch for the wife and two kids of the prospective candidate. A chance to find out more about them and for them to ask us what life is really like here.

It was a time of fun and laughter and making new friends, an excuse to eat some yummy food together (including the Lemon Cheesecake that I mentioned the other week) ... and possibly the start of an exciting journey for another family just like ours.

The Lost Art of Drying Clothes

When we moved to America to work with MMS, it was perfectly timed for many reasons. One of those being that another family were just packing up to leave and needed to sell all their furniture and we needed a house full of furniture for when we arrived, to make a home! For a job lot we were able to buy everything from dining-room table and chairs, beds and washing machine to kitchen electrical goods and children's toys. It couldn't have been a more perfect arrangement for either family.

It was an extra special treat for me to know that there was a tumble dryer included in the deal. Tumble dryers aren't as common in England as they are here ... people will often use a washing line outside in the summer months or radiators inside during the winter ... neither of which can be found as easily here in small town America. In fact, most of the time the only people you find who use a clothes line outside are the Amish, as they have no electricity. It's just another one of those cultural differences. 

Since Naomi was born I have become even more attached to my tumble dryer ... I had already become a BIG fan! Where Abigail was quite clean and tidy as a baby, Naomi could projectile vomit with the best of them ... as well as 'poop' through multiple outfits in a day for weeks on end. Cleaning her clothes, mine, blankets, pillows and sofa covers over and over again would have been a nightmare in the house we lived in when Abigail was born! I'm very grateful that God gave me my daughters in the order that he did!

Imagine my surprise and disappointment yesterday when I went to check on some washing in the dryer to find that after 10 minutes it had turned itself off ... never to start again. ARGH! That was just not allowed to happen but it did! After the initial panic (yes, I know ... strong word but that's how I felt!) I called the repair man who will hopefully be here in the next day or two and then realised how grateful I was that I had done two loads the day before so we are good for clothes for the time being!

Then I had to figure out someway to dry the towels and things that were in the machine ... with no radiators or clothes lines I had to get a little creative. Thankfully the weather was warm, sunny and dry so I used the frame of our swing seat for some things and had other stuff dotted strategically around the house hoping grubby little fingers wouldn't make them dirty again before they even had the chance to dry! 'Chinese Laundry' comes to mind! For a few seconds I felt like a total fish out of water, wondering what to do with everything, ridiculous but true ... it just shows how much I've come to rely on something that up until 2 years ago I'd never even had the privilege of owning! 

Another Year, Another Card

One of the ways we keep in touch with friends, family and supporters is sending out our MAF prayer cards. With little people in the family the photos can become out of date very quickly as you can see below. In the first one Abigail was only 5 months old and in the second Naomi was still in my tummy!

I know that people have found having our MAF cards useful. Many have them on their fridges, mantelpieces, in their offices or Bibles as a reminder to pray for us or remember the work we, MAF and MMS are doing. It is a great encouragement to us too ... more than I can express in words here .

As I mentioned in my Admin Mummy post ... the support raising part of being a missionary family is down to me because I enjoy it so much, while Mark's forte is fixing the planes! I'm thankful that we're agreed on this and can get on with our own areas of expertise!

This year is a particularly big year for us. Mark has just done and will do another Rapid Response trip. In the summer, Mark will also have completed all his necessary hours as an apprentice and will be taking his Airframe and Powerplant exams (of which there are a lot!). This means our time here in Ohio will come to an end and we will be placed in an MAF programme, most likely in Uganda or Tanzania, where I used to teach. So by this time next year we will have moved across continents again, said lots of goodbyes and hellos and be settling the family into a whole new culture.

We figured with all that is going on we would like our supporters to keep us in the forefront of their minds over the next 12 months. We wanted an up-to-date card (including Naomi!) for people to remember us with and as we won't get another new MAF card until we're in a programme I decided to make our own!  

We budget for keeping in touch with supporters each month, postage, cards etc but I'm always looking for a bargain. For example, we never pay for our return address stickers, we always use an offer on Vistaprint and just pay postage which is only a few £/$'s. So I played around with photos on Snapfish yesterday and as I went to 'checkout' I thought I'd quickly see if there were any coupon codes or offers for that website as it was quite a big order. 

I was really excited to find a 25% off code on the Snapfish website ... which was extremely short lived as it didn't work. I've never used the 'online chat' help on any website but I thought I'd give it a go and can't recommend it highly enough! Not only did the customer support advisor help very quickly and clearly, they found me a 50% off code instead. No complaints from me ... we saved over $100!

The order is in and for a lot less money than I'd thought, which is great as postage is $1 a letter from America, so we've got a bit more saved towards that now! For those of you who regularly receive our news keep an eye out in your snail mail for one of our 'unofficial' cards over the next month or so. For those of you who don't ... let me know if you'd like one to remember us with!