Visiting "Home"!

"Home" has changed for us over the last few years, Dorset, Ohio, Dodoma (the next place is yet to be determined!) ... different places, different continents, different cultures. We try to make wherever we are living, home. A place of comfort, escape, security, family.

We also have our home country and home culture. For most of the family it's England, although for Abigail, she only lived there for one year. Technically Naomi's home country is America, as she's never lived in England but realistically she won't remember living in either places!

In fact, for the foreseeable future the only time we will be "Home" is when we are on Home Assignment, travelling backwards and forwards, visiting friends and supporters, speaking at different churches ... it's not really home. We enjoy seeing everyone, we enjoy eating home comforts, we enjoy visiting familiar places but to be honest, we also enjoy the end when we can return and relax!

At the moment, it has been over a year since we've been "Home" to the UK. During this time of waiting on our future, with the changes in MAF Tanzania, we don't know when exactly that might come either. Whenever it is though, it will be a BIG undertaking.

Earlier today I read an amazingly honest post about the dreaded Home Assignment time ... The Naked Truth About Deputation: Can You See Through My Eyes? If you are going on deputation, or are welcoming someone back on deputation from working overseas, please take a few minutes to read this. It really does feel like this writer describes to the family who is travelling around visiting. When people view it as a break, as a holiday, as a time away from work ... think again!

Crazy Life

Today, I have this month's guest post. I have known this missionary mum since 2005 and have lots of fun and happy memories hanging out with her, when we were both single gals with a heart for mission! She met her husband in the same place as I did and is living on the same continent as I am right now. Given the sensitive nature of her families work with Reach Across, working amongst the Muslim community and for 28 Too Many that is as detailed as I am able to get. She has a gorgeous little daughter (see below) and as of last week a brand new son too! Today she writes for me (during a time of uncertainty for us) about a time of uncertainty that her family have had to work through over the last couple years.

Almost exactly a year ago we were evacuated from our country. We were ordered to leave when the political situation meant that foreign nationals were perceived to be at high risk of kidnapping and being caught in any potential conflict.

We had arrived for our first term as missionaries only 4 months earlier with our then 7 month old. We had started language acquisition, getting to know neighbours, culture, house decorating, getting furniture ... all the usual stuff you do when you move somewhere new. I was so excited to finally be where I thought would be "home". I had waited a long time for this. This was where we would be for a good many years, where our kids would grow up, where we would make a life as a family.

It was a roller coaster ride leaving under such stressful circumstances, not knowing for how long, or if we would ever be able to return. The good road out of the country was deemed off limits as it was too close to a 'high-risk' area so we did a 24 hour detour which involved a night on a church floor and some pretty hairy terrain (that was the most fun in those crazy days of packing and travelling to our temporary home in the neighbouring country, especially as I was driving the roughest bit!).

So we eventually arrived at our temporary home and were stuck in limbo for about 5 months. It was a pretty difficult time emotionally and spiritually. The relentless mosquitos were also pretty annoying but the location was nice and at times I was able to really enjoy that aspect of our situation.

Disappointed? Confused? Angry? Frustrated? Lost? You name the emotion, I am pretty sure I felt it.

I couldn't understand why we were going through all this. We had worked so hard to get there. Bible school, learning French (our bridge language), raising the money to go. We had felt all along that it was God's will and he had made it all pretty straightforward even easy at times. So what was this all about? And what about my little girl? This surely couldn't be good for her. As a new Mum I was new to the feelings of utter responsibility for a little person and wanted to do all I could to protect her.

So things seemed pretty bleak at times to be honest. I was really unhappy and felt guilty for not being able to do the ministry we were being supported to do as well as all the other issues I have touched upon.

We returned to our country (not our town yet) in June and have settled in the city for a while, mostly because baby number 2 will be arriving very soon!

The first few weeks were strange and I came to realise that since the evacuation I had been super protective over our daughter, which I also realised was more for me than for her! I had had zero control over most things in my life for so long that the only thing I could control was her routine. This is not very African! So I told myself to suck it up and start embracing life here the way I had planned. Being flexible and as African as possible. Life is short and was not going to be fun if I put limits on our life in that way. Good decision!

So what's happening now? Well, as I said it's one year on. A lot has changed. I have changed. We have changed as a family. I have learnt a lot and been reminded of many things I learnt at Bible school which I know will help me in the long term and I hope will enable me to support others who go through similar situations in the future. 

The life of a missionary can be stressful and a very steep learning curve (and wonderful!!)

The life of a mum can be stressful and a very steep learning curve (and wonderful!!)

The life of a wife can be stressful and a very steep learning curve (and wonderful!!)

We live in constant transition.

Home is not necessarily one physical place. It IS one spiritual place.

Expect the unexpected.

Kids are way more resilient than we give them credit for!

Hold on to material things lightly. It's great to make your house a home, but we have to recognise that it may not be home for as long as we hope or expect.

Our plans don't always work out the way we expect. God has really surprised me in how he has used our time in the big city to be really useful despite it seemingly slowing down all our other plans.

There are a ton of other things I could write and even more that I'm sure will come to me later but I hope this may be of use to someone in a similar situation at some point.

It's a crazy life we lead. But I know I wouldn't change it for the world.

Altered Lenses

This time last year we were frantically buying, selling, packing, saying goodbyes, preparing, organising. It really was quite something and I'm am very grateful to be well on the other side of it all, even though settling here and getting everything sorted has been an experience all of its own! 

Saying goodbye to the States was hard as we had so much fun there as a family, made new friends and even added a new member to our family. We learnt some of the differences in cultures and picked up some traditions to carry on with us too.

Thanksgiving is something we decided we would 'take with us' and a couple of weeks ago we got to celebrate with a couple of other families right here in Dodoma. Thinking of things to be thankful for this year was a little different. After 10 months of living here my perspective has changed and what I am thankful for and appreciate about life has too. So here goes, just a few ... but through some slightly altered lenses ...

• Electricity and Running Water - While we know that this is something not to take for granted ... out here when both are intermittent and for many (right on our doorstep) a luxury they can't afford, you become a lot more appreciative of them!
• American Toilet Roll - We shipped some across in the container and opened a couple of rolls last week ... it feels so nice to use soft, strong non-shredding loo roll ... after 10 months you wouldn't believe how thankful toilet roll can make you!
• Being able to write - My house lady is in her 50's and can read a little but even writing her name (all 5 letters of it!) takes as long as it takes me to write a whole paragraph! To just be able to write the simplest of things is such a blessing ... really!
• Owning a car - travelling around here is possible on foot/bike but isn't necessarily safe (especially with young children), I am so appreciative of the fact that we are privileged enough to have wheels of our own to get around and not have to be dependent on other people.
• Not getting malaria - Malaria is a very real and present danger here and so far we have all remained healthy and malaria free! A BIG reason to be thankful!
• Moving internationally - Talk about stressful, moving from one continent to another (via a third) ... and now we're only just really getting settled! But to be on the other end of it all is a pretty good feeling!
• Rain - this afternoon it rained ... doesn't sound all that exciting to the Brit readers I'm sure ... but we haven't had any proper rain since April and it is SO dry and dusty here! We're so grateful for the rain, we were dancing and being totally goofy in it!

It will be interesting to see how our perspective changes about what we're thankful for over the years to come!

Totally Surreal

This time last week, we had not long arrived in Dar Es Salaam ... the commercial capital of Tanzania. Dodoma is the actual capital but to be honest it doesn't have much to show for itself!

When I lived here before I only visited Dar a couple of times. On a teachers budget and without transport of my own it wasn't very practical. But even so, it was a real treat and a taste of the 'real world'!

I was really surprised to find just how far it had all moved on since my last visit about 12 years ago. A choice of great restaurants, supermarkets, shops, resort hotels, even a shopping mall ... the list goes on! Some I was able to revisit, some try for the first time and others note down for future trips. In fact, today I set up a Dar Es Salaam board on Pinterest so I don't forget before our next visit, although to be fair a lot of places don't have great websites if at all!

To be honest it felt totally surreal to be there. Waking up to the view below. In some kind of paradise bubble!

After 7 months of living in Dodoma. With a choice of only a couple of (western!) restaurants and just a handful of tiny food and stationary shops that are worth frequenting regularly to find ourselves in a big city surrounded by the more familiar trappings of a 'western' lifestyle felt fun, excessive, wonderful, strange, unnecessary, indulgent, relaxing ... and so many other things. A real mix of emotions. More so than a usual holiday, by far!

We ate in a Subway sandwich bar one lunchtime ... could have been in one of many different countries after we walked in through the door! I bought a 'Mainstays' ladle in one store ... Walmart's finest budget range! And a Jamie Oliver cookbook in another! Every supermarket we walked into had a wider range of Brit goodies than anywhere we went when we lived in Ohio! It really was just the strangest feeling!

Some aspects were a little more sobering though. We went to Mlimani City, Tanzania's largest shopping mall. (To my US and UK readers, think small shopping mall ... living in Dodoma for the majority of the year though it was pretty impressive for us!) As we drove into the carpark we had our car searched and as we walked into the mall itself we were searched, men on the left, ladies on the right. A direct consequence of the horrible situation in Nairobi just a few weeks ago. It reminded us that even though things felt familiar, the reality was actually very different.

We had a great time and are looking forward to going down to Dar again, to both stock up and indulge. It makes knowing that although things in Dodoma are relatively basic, the other stuff is within reach and ready for us to enjoy at a later date. In some ways coming back to Dodoma feels even more weird now knowing that just 8 hours drive away life would be so different. When it involves moving to another country/culture you expect there to be differences but when it is all 'just down the road' it seems all the more strange somehow ... more like a dream!

Road Trip!

Today, for the second time this week, as a family, we went on an eight hour road trip!

Nothing is close-by here. Dodoma has the basic stuff, it's not totally rural but it's not like 'home' either ... whatever that is anymore! To get to somewhere that vaguely resembles the majority of our UK or US life experience to date we have to drive for a whole day!

The scenery is both breath-taking and heart breaking. Amazing vista's and landscapes, mountains, dry dust devils, lush palms, small businesses, mud huts. You see wealth and poverty, thriving businesses and people striving to make a living. There isn't a stretch of road where you won't find someone walking from A to B ... even when there is no obvious A or B for miles around! We even saw a random pig wandering across the road at one point.

The traffic is quite something else too! You can drive for 5 or 10 minutes without seeing anything or anyone ... then there are stretches when multiple crazy kamikaze bus drivers try to overtake you in the face of other oncoming crazy kamikaze drivers! Loooonnnnnnggggg stretches of the road are straight but you can be assured that the only time you need to overtake anyone there will be blind bends and limited visibility! 

The speed bumps are quite something else (a more recent addition from when I last lived here) ... some of them are seriously vicious! The state of the road itself always makes me chuckle! It's a main road, or should I say the only road from Dar Es Salaam the commercial capital of Tanzania to the actual capital, Dodoma. However, for the most part, you would be forgiven for not recognizing it as such!

For us as a family it is out route 'out'! To escape the dust of Dodoma, the small close community, the humdrum of the basic every day stuff ... even if it is just for a few days. This week the girls were superstars the whole way there and back which is just as well as this journey is going to get incredibly familiar! Not one of the pluses of living here but not all that bad either ... you just have to get on with it, especially as that is our main route in and out of the country when it comes to airports both for us and for visitors!

Freedom

A week ago today, after 7 months of living here and 9 months after we sold our last vehicle in the States ... we finally got our Tanzanian car!

It has been a long, frustrating and sometimes almost painful journey ... but we got there and ironically only a couple of hours after it arrived we were already changing our first flat tyre!

For the first month that we were here and the last week before the car arrived, we had no transport. As a family of 4 it has been quite restrictive. Having said that we have been overwhelmed by the generosity of three families in particular, who have lent us their cars.

Until 'our car' (still exciting to be able to say that!) arrived, I didn't realise just how much we felt held back without wheels of our own. Not knowing how long we would have to wait to get a car or whether we would have an alternative option when the owners of the borrowed ones needed their vehicle's returned. Not being able to plan ahead for trips. Not being able to leave stuff in the car. All small little stressors individually but amounting to a lot more that I had anticipated.

Now, a week on, it still feels like a novelty, to be able to go anywhere, at anytime, dump stuff in it and carry things around in the car that we always need (wipes/tissues etc) without feeling like we can't leave them in there. It feels SO good! It feels like a weight has been taken off my shoulders, one I never even realised was there! 

It may seem like something small and insignificant to you reading this, after all many people we know survive without a car. But during the settling in period especially, when there isn't great public transport here and we live on the other side of town to the shops, school, church and a lot of our friends, a car is a necessity, especially with 2 little ones.

Already in this last week since it arrived, we have booked a holiday, I've visited a local friend and ... I've just felt a freedom I didn't even realise I was missing!! So so so wonderful!

The Little Things

This week we had our first family holiday and break away from Dodoma since moving to Tanzania six months ago. We went on safari to Mikumi National Park, it was so much fun!

I have had the privilege of going on safari many times before, one of the advantages of living in Africa on more than one occasion. So, although the idea of this kind of holiday isn't novel, new or once in a lifetime to me (how lucky am I?), I decided to look for the little things that made our time extra special ...

• Getting away from what has been a crazy stressful month
• Watching the girls faces light-up when they saw all the different animals.
• Getting to see two of the big cats ... a lifelong dream of my hubby
• No computers and limited internet all week
• Learning new Swahili words
• Great food, no cooking and no washing up
• Even though there were loads of amazing animals and I'm not a bird person, I discovered a beautiful new (to me) bird that is my favourite colours ... the lilac-breasted roller

One of my favourite things about this week though was coming home. Does that sound silly? As it was the first time we'd been away, it was also the first time that we've come back to this house as our home. And it really feels like home now, because it is full of our belongings. 

Do you know that 'aaaaahhhhh' moment? When after a long journey you arrive home, put down your bags, put the kettle on, sit on the sofa surrounded by everything that is familiar and at the end of the day climb into your own comfy bed? As nice as the holiday has been, it is even nicer to be home? That is how it felt today!

I guess it is another sign that we're getting settled here ... and it feels really good! 

Are We There Yet?

Today I want to introduce you to another great friend and Missionary Mum. I met Kristin when our husbands trained together at MMS Aviation. We arrived (and left) within a few months of each other. In many ways we are on the same journey and in other ways our stories are completely different. I am so grateful that our paths crossed when they did, we have shared lots of giggles as well as lots of struggles together and as Naomi's other fairy god-mother, I am pleased to say she will forever remain part of my life! Kristin, her husband and three sons are in the process of joining JAARS a mission based in North Carolina.

Are we there yet?

How many times have we heard that from our children as we travel down the road? Annoying, right? This time I find it’s me whining to my heavenly Father, “This is taking forever. When will we get there? I can’t stand it.” 

Eight months ago we finished our assignment at MMS Aviation. We were eager to get our hands dirty and put to use all that we had learned over our 3 years in Ohio. It was in our hearts to move our family to North Carolina and pursue service with JAARS, an organization that provides practical day to day support (aviation, land transportation, water transportation, information technology, and media) to Bible translators working all over the globe giving the Word of God to people in their own heart language. We prayed, sought wise counsel, and decided to go for it. 

Thus began the process… 

We found a house to rent and hurried back to Ohio to pack our things, cheerfully saying our goodbyes and boldly moving ahead. We set up house. Paul volunteered in the hangar for 2 months and I worked to settle the children and start back to homeschooling. We all began to make friends and find activities we enjoyed. Things were off to a good start. 

January brought another round of exams for Paul, 10 days of oral and practical examination to see if he has the skills to work effectively on the mission field. It was challenging and exhausting but Paul passed (only by God’s grace according to him) and we were offered an position here at the JAARS headquarters where he would start as a mechanic and eventually participate in research and development projects that would utilize his previous aerospace and mechanical engineering experience. Sounds great, right? 

On to the next step… 

Full time missionaries working in aviation at JAARS are expected to join a mission organization, specifically Wycliffe Bible Translators. That means going through a process that includes written applications, interviews for both us and the children, budget projections, administrative details and lots of decision making. We began in February and signed as members of Wycliffe in early May. 

What that means is… 

Now it is June. In August, we will begin a time of training and partner development with Wycliffe that can last for up to two years. The rule is for us to work on that exclusively. This potentially means no airplanes for Paul for the next 18 months. It means Paul working from home with all of us doing school at home. We think it will mean time apart as Paul travels to see our supporters alone. We also think it will mean travel and school on the road together with two teenagers and a very talkative eight year old. Can anyone say “Aaaahhhhggggg”… 

Here’s another sticky detail. Throughout the process, our monthly financial support has been at least $1,000 shy of meeting our needs and yet we have not gone into debt and we are not begging for bread. Wow, right? 

So this is our way forward, narrow and “pinchey” as it may be. Would I choose it? Of course not. But I will walk it, with God’s grace and help. 

May I share with you what has become my life verse? “So work with fear and trembling to discover what it really means to be saved. God is working in you to make you willing and able to obey Him.” Philippians 2:13 (CEV) 

As He is faithful, may we be found faithful - regardless of the hurdles, regardless of the time investment, regardless of the questions.

More Traffic Jams

This morning I was sitting in my car on a dual carriageway in a traffic jam! Not moving an inch!

While it may be standard practice for many of you, in your day-to-day commute or simply just getting from A to B ... it really is not the norm here in Dodoma. It's a busy town, much busier than Coshocton where we last lived but everything flows and there is not an excessive amount of traffic or even a rush hour or anything.

With one exception ... when there are VIP's here everything and I mean EVERYTHING stops. The Tanzanian Parliament is here in Dodoma and all the top politicians have residences both here and in Dar Es Salaam. You know when parliament is in session as police and military appear everywhere stopping traffic and you could be waiting for anything from a few minutes to twenty or more!

Then at some point you are treated to a 'car parade' as Abigail calls it. The cavalcade speeds through fast but is motorbikes, cars, 4x4's and they go on and on and on! Usually you hear the presidential or other jet first ... then you know there is a chance of getting stuck on the roads. The President of Tanzania has the longest entourage but other VIP's come with their own train of vehicles too.

This weekend, as a family we avoided town completely. There were way too many VIP's around for the installation of the new Archbishop of Tanzania and it would have taken forever to get anywhere. The only person we really had any interest in seeing was the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, who flew in for the occasion. 

Lucky for us, he flew into Dodoma via MAF and so right at airport, on arrival, we were able to see him before all the craziness really set in!

He was given quite the welcome. Bishops and clergy, politicians, tribal dancing ... the list goes on! This was his first visit to Tanzania since becoming the Archbishop of Canterbury and he really was treated like royalty.

Thankfully, the weekend went off without incident, although there was some concern before and now all the VIP's are heading out again. There isn't much here worth sticking around for to be honest! 

That means that as this week progresses there will be less and less reason for all the traffic to be stopped again and life for the rest of us lesser beings will go on without sitting in anymore jams ... until the next time!

Unexpected Culture Shock

Last month due to internet issues and a few other things we had no guest blog ... but it's back again this month with a friend who I haven't actually seen face-to-face for quite a few years now as we've both been living all over the world!

I first met Michaela in 1999, in Nairobi when she was part of on a short term mission trip that my mum was on and I was on my way to teach in Tanzania. In my second year in Dodoma, Michaela came out as a member of staff at the same school as me and we lived on the same compound. She also went on to study at All Nations but left the year before I started and then went on to work in Myanmar. She is now married with two beautiful little girls and another little munchkin on the way.

I have returned to Dodoma, somewhere familiar to me ... but living here with a family is very different to when I was young and single first time round. Michaela is now experiencing something similar too, except she is on a completely different continent to me once again!

My husband and I both come from large villages, we have Christian parents and are followers of Christ ourselves. But that is where the similarities end, for a start our villages are in different continents! My village is typically English; thatched cottages, village clock tower, his is in South East Asia with houses of bamboo and wood.

We met while I was teaching in his country and after we got married we continued to live in Myanmar.  After we found out I was pregnant we decided to return to England for the birth and ended up staying 3 years! Two children later and a third on the way, we decided to return to our life in Myanmar.

We were incredibly excited about returning! We have family and friends here. We own our apartment which was the first place we lived as husband and wife. We know how to get around; we know the language, in fact its home.  So the last thing I was expecting was to experience the level of culture shock I did!  Living in Myanmar this time was very different. The difference being, we now had two children under 3.

The thing I struggled with the most was what seemed to be a loss of my independence.  I was used to strapping my two girls into our Phil and Ted’s double buggy and walking to friends houses. I was used to putting them in their car seats and driving off to all manner of places. Suddenly getting to any place was a struggle!  We sold the double buggy before we left the UK knowing it would be too heavy to carry up 8 flights of stairs- yes we live on the 8^th floor and no lift. Instead we bought a small foldable push chair and a buggy board. 

And yet the paths are so pot holed, crowded with stalls and in complete disrepair and the curbs so steep that the buggy can only be used in the parks anyway. Then there’s getting to the parks. Firstly I need to carry a one year old, buggy, buggy board, change bag and hold on to a two and half year old down 8 flights of steep, dirty, concrete stairs. Then wait by the side of the road without losing a child, in temperatures of high 30 degrees C, while I flag down a taxi and haggle with the driver over the price. Once I arrive at the park I am hot and sweaty from having to restrain the one year old from climbing out the windows, no air con in these taxis so all windows are wide open, and I now have to pay foreigner rates.  Even though I married a local and our children are half Myanmar we are all still considered foreigners and so pay double what the locals do.  And of course then there’s the return journey but this time the two and a half year old probably wants carrying up the 8 flights and I’m 20 weeks pregnant!

So it became quite clear, quite early on that going out alone was no longer an option. This really took time for me to accept and was the reason for my culture shock. I had always wanted to look after my children myself and chose not to return to work but be a stay-at-home-mum instead. I enjoyed going out on our little adventures together, seeing where we’d end up, not worrying about someone else’s time schedule but just taking our time.  When I looked around at the ex-pats living here they all have nannies and home helps and drivers which didn’t surprise me but then I realized that all the locals have help too. Not hired help but family! I also have an amazing family here who are adored by my girls and who are ready and willing to help at any time and in anyway.  

There are times in all our lives when we need help. The trick is to acknowledge your need and ask for help or accept the help offered. I have come to realize that the support and help I receive is not failure on my part but a privilege and a joy as well as a necessity!

Settled In

Well, we made it, in one piece, with all the luggage that we checked in at Heathrow, with no problems! Thank you for your prayers!

So now the BIG task is settling in. We're waiting for our container to arrive in Dar Es Salaam, to clear customs and then be driven the days journey up to Dodoma to really feel at home but we're finding that already it's all becoming very familiar!

Abigail has had an issue with saying goodbye's and leaving places ever since our first home assignment in 2010. This last extended time at in the UK was OK for the first month but in the second one, her sensitivity to leaving was heightened all the more. She didn't want to leave anywhere because all we were doing was going somewhere else that we would have to say goodbye to.

One day, when we were in the UK driving away from another fun time with friends, a little voice in the back of the car said 'I don't like leaving, why do we always have to change'. That same little voice was reassuring her younger sister on Monday this week, 24 hours after arriving in Tanzania with, 'Don't worry, we're here and we don't have to leave for a looooonnnng time'!!

We really enjoyed the chance to catch up with so many people while we were in the UK and have quality time with family but there was also an element of always being on the go. This week, although we've been busy getting things sorted both in the house and out (tax numbers etc), there has also been the opportunity to have a little bit of space too ... and we're all feeling a lot more normal as a result!

So much so that yesterday, when it all went quiet in our house and I went searching for two little munchkins (in case they were getting up to mischief), I chuckled to myself to find them exactly where they would have been in our old house ... in their bedroom, on Abigail's bed, reading stories together!

MAF has a reputation for being brilliant at hospitality and while we were allocated dinners out for the first few night here, we chose to stay at home, sometimes with the food, sometimes cooking for ourselves. The last two months have taken it's toll on us and getting settled into a routine as a family had to be our first priority.

The girls have taken it all very well, although they turned up their crankiness levels in the last few weeks in the UK, way beyond anything I've been used to before ... understandably so, their worlds have been turned upside-down. 

If you spent time with us in our last month in the UK you may have caught them on a good day or on a super cranky one. Apologies if you caught us on one of the cranky ones ... they really are good girls most of the time and hopefully now that they are settling down here, the crankiness levels will slowly turn themselves down too!

Traffic Jams

While we've been travelling round the UK, I've noticed an abundance of traffic jams! (This photo isn't from here ... but it just illustrates the point perfectly!)

For the majority of our driving around, we have managed to quite successfully avoid rush hour and any build up of traffic by arranging our appointments carefully. Of course, no schedule is perfect and the occasional accident is unavoidable but for the most part we only been onlookers when it has come to the really heavy/standstill traffic and not stuck right in the middle!

Living in small town Ohio, traffic was rarely an issue. In fact, there were times when I saw a red light on the horizon and would roll my eye's at the thought of having to use the brake ... even when I was likely to be either the first or second to get to them! Often times I would take a route that gave as many right hand turns as possible ... you can turn right on a red light as long as it's clear. Something I can't imagine would ever translate over to the UK as I think everyone would just take advantage of it and there would be accidents all over the place!

Longer journeys that we took on the Interstate Routes were also very straight forward with majority of drivers sticking to the speed limit, the roads being patrolled to enforce it and everyone pootling along at their own pace. Again something that was alien to us coming from the roads here, where I think the majority of people would agree that they drive at least 10 mph over the speed limit on any given road and for the most part get away with it too.

It was often joked that 'road rage' Coshocton style was when there was more than one car at a junction and each driver was adement about waving the other one on ahead of them ... kind of a 'you go first', 'no, you go first', 'no, really, you go first' type thing! Having been used to that for the last three years I've been slightly surprised by the aggressive and often abusive nature of drivers back here. I know that I have always been one of them (the aggressive not the abusive ones, just to clarify!) but it seems that I've have mellowed out being away from it and am not disappointed about that either!

I am therefore not in the slightest bit sad that we will soon be leaving the crazy, narrow, traffic filled roads of the UK in a couple of weeks time and exchanging them for those around Dodoma. While Dar Es Salaam is crazy and Dodoma can be somewhat aggressive too ... I know they are definitely my preference over the rat race back here in the England. Now we just need to find a car with which to drive those Tanzanian roads when we get there!

Down Time

You may (or may not!) have picked up from my recent posts just how crazy life is for us right now. Getting 'down time' as individuals or as a family is something that we're trying to prioritise, to refresh us for when it is all a bit more full-on!

A few weeks ago Mark's parents looked after the girls so we could go shopping. Proper shopping. Not the spending loads of money kind. The browsing in bookstores, taking time over a meal, walking along hand-in-hand kind. The kind you don't always get to do when there are little munchkins around!

Yesterday, my mum looked after the girls so that we could go and see 'Les Miserables' ... absolutely amazing and totally worth it, if you're considering it. (Although it was an emotional roller coaster which left me with a bit of a stress headache afterwards, I'm embarrassed to admit!!)

It has been really nice to be with the grandparents while we're in the UK and have the opportunity to do these things and get a little time to ourselves. Something that we miss out on while we're overseas and cherish here. I know they cherish it too, to get quality time with the munchkins ... the only grandchildren on both sides of the family!

Today though, we made time for some fun as a family, no speaking engagements, no catching up, no agendas! We went into London, along with my sister and were total tourists. The train ride itself was exciting enough for Abigail, having lived nowhere near any public transport for the majority of her life ... so it just kept keeping better from there in her eyes!

In amongst everything that is going on right now, days like today are not only important but necessary. To maintain a sense of fun amongst all our engagements isn't something we should feel bad about, it will equip and refresh us as a family to fulfil all our commitments better. If you're from a missionary family and are ever on home assignment with your family, even though everyone will want a piece of you, remember to prioritise some 'down time' too!

Look Both Ways

Growing up, I was taught to 'look both ways' before I crossed a road. The start of a new year can be similar, reflecting on the year that has passed and anticipating the one to come.

On New Years Day, we took a walk on the beach in Cornwall (see the photo below). Wrapped up under multiple layers. It was freezing but beautiful.

The beach has a 'clean slate' after every high tide ... just as we often feel like we can start afresh at the beginning of a new year.

While we've been keeping everyone else up-to-date with our news at the moment, it has given us a chance as a family to recap what we've got up to over the last year. 2012 was a BIG year for us. These are the highlights ...

• In January, Mark went to Papua New Guinea for a month to work on a plane for SIL. The longest time we've ever spent apart since we first met. 
• In April, as a family we drove from Ohio to Florida, for Mark to work at MFI, a mission there for three weeks and for all of us to experience life exploring a new place.
• In August, we drove up to Toronto for a long weekend with friends
• In September, Mark took his FAA exams and qualified as an aircraft engineer
• In November, we flew out to Dodoma, Tanzania ... to see where we would be moving to next as a family
• In December, we packed up our lives in Ohio, shipped all our belongings off in a container, said our goodbyes and flew to England

Looking back, it's actually quite exhausting when I consider all we fitted in, in amongst all the visitors and other stuff we got up to!

Looking forward at the beginning of this year, I sometimes wonder just exactly what have we got ourselves into! A couple of months of driving around catching up with people and support raising and then moving to and settling into a whole new life and culture in Tanzania! The life of an MAF missionary!! Thankfully we're going into it with our eyes wide open and are looking forward to the adventure that the year will bring.

Guaranteed it's going to be a whirlwind ... but it will definitely be an exciting one, with God at the centre. I can't wait to enjoy it with my best friend and my two little girlies!

In Between

Right now I find myself living 'in between' worlds!

England is 'home' to us but having lived in the States for three years, so much about there has become almost more familiar and normal to us ... but it is no longer home for our family. Tanzania will be the next place that will be home ... but yet not for a couple more months! So it leaves us floating somewhere in the middle!

Over this last week I've been acclimatising to what was once very familiar but as the years go by, living out of the UK, has become less so. In fact, I'm almost embarrassed to admit at the moment there are probably more things that I prefer about life in the States than in the UK!!!

I miss the sheer space and size of things where we were in the States ... right now everything is feeling really small, closed in and claustrophobic. Houses are much closer together, roads narrower and much busier, shops smaller and more expensive, parking spaces minuscule and difficult to manoeuvre into ... and much more! 

On the flip side there is a charm and quaintness about things here that I never found in the States. Little things are more familiar for example knowing which shops will sell the things you need (if they are still where they were last time you were back!). Or being able to eat different types of food that I haven't been able to get hold of since our last trip to the UK.

I have found myself using American English rather than British English expressions many times over the last week and today when we were out shopping we even went to an American chain restaurant for dinner so that we  could enjoy the little familiar things, like booth's and free-refills!!! So, I guess there is some element of living in both places at once!

Being here in the UK is only temporary though and soon we will find ourselves in a culture which is neither American or British and I'm sure we'll find things that we miss from both cultures ... and find others things that we will enjoy even more about life in Tanzania once we become more accustomed with it. 

I often wonder what the girls are making of all of the differences especially as they have never really had a chance to be 'at home' in the UK to begin with. They aren't fully familiar with their parents culture or the ones we have been living in but have their own 'in between' one. 

That is where the term Third-Culture-Kid (TCK) comes from. Dr Useem coined the term and describes the third culture as ... 

... a shared, or interstitial way of life lived by those who had gone from one culture (the home or first culture) to a host culture (the second) and had developed their own shared way of life with others also living outside their passport cultures.

Making the girls feel as 'at home' as possible, is one of the roles as both a missionary and parent that me and my husband take very seriously and are trying as hard as we can to make the girls as comfortable and as familiar with the different cultures as possible. No doubt there will be many an occasion where we will get it wrong and other times when we make our own family traditions that will cross the cultures instead of embracing any particular one. 

Right now though, it all seems a bit strange as I'm feeling a little like an outsider in my own 'home culture'. I know from previous years that that will pass as we familiarize ourselves with everything again ... but each year it takes just that little bit longer!

Homeless

Last Friday, five very friendly but total strangers came into our house and packed up all our belongings onto this container, which is now making it's way slowly to Tanzania ahead of us!

On Tuesday this week, we handed over the keys to the place we have called 'home' for the last three years. Now in it's empty, shell-type form, it can be described as a house again until someone else fills it with their belongings and makes their own memories there.

Later the same day we flew from Ohio to London via Toronto ... and now we are living between our parents houses and various other locations until we move to Tanzania in February.

Transition is never straight forward, whether it's in the details of the packing, travel arrangements, living with just of a small selection of your belongings, adjusting to time zones, helping little people understand what's going on, taking in yourself that one chunk of your life is over and waiting for the next one to begin.

In some ways I'd expected all those things and I had also anticipated that however well prepared we were, it was not all going to be plain sailing ... like when the shipping people told us that not everything was going to fit in the container and we had to pick out what we 'didn't want to take with us' or when the girls are extra cranky as they try in their own little ways to assimilate what's going on  ... and many other little gems!

But it wasn't until we were just about to board the plane on Tuesday and were spending a last few moments with a really good friend before saying our goodbye's, that it actually dawned on me ... technically, as a family, we are currently homeless. How strange! The securities that we all work towards  for our loved ones, have been stripped away for these few months at least. 

When in her tiredness Abigail says to me 'I want to go home', I have to reply that for now we don't have one. She knows that all our things are on a boat to Africa and we will settle once again but for now we are living in other people's homes and are grateful that our family looks after us so well until we have a 'home' of our own again!

If you are friends from England ... check out our family blog post, Back in the UK for more information of where we're going to be and when over the next couple of months.

Christmas Came Early

Trying to maintain some level of normality in our house right now is proving more and more difficult. There is stuff everywhere and it's taking twice as long as normal to find anything that we need. Roll on Friday when everything will be taken away and we won't have to sort through our belongings anymore!

The next two months will be equally as crazy travelling all over and meeting up with people left right and centre ... as well as celebrating Christmas and New Year with family. We won't be able to give presents to the girls in the same way as normal this year. Travelling with presents either to or from the UK isn't really practical, so we've had to improvise and give one of our pressies a little early.

The girls love, love, love to dress up and we found the best trunk/foot locker to give them, so all their things can be stored in one place! A few days ago we told them to close their eyes and had lots of fun watching the smiles on their faces, when they realised what their early Christmas present was!! They were super excited and jumped straight in themselves, shouting 'Hooray'!

Dress up is such a great source of imaginative play for little ones. According to about.com ...

... while dress up play is an incredibly fun activity for little kids, it's also a very important one, helping them build up their vocabulary as well as their confidence ... Role playing, especially when it happens with other children, encourages taking turns, cooperation and socialization. Children that allow their imaginations to run wild become great problem solvers as adults. Why? Because creative thinking grows with use and practice and while trying to figure out how to rescue dolls from the bad guys doesn't seem like a pressing issue to you, to the superhero child, it's a quandary that has to be figured out immediately.

As I said, my two love it and I often have fairy cowboys, kung-fu fighting santas and a lot of princesses parading around and playing in my living room really nicely together! It can take up hours of their time and while they're clearly having a whale of a time, it is also a lot of fun to watch too!

Christmas certainly will be a little different from normal this year but in some ways it will extend the celebrations (they have already started!) and may even make it more fun and memorable in years to come.

Due to the everything that is going on over the next week ... I may well miss out a few of my normal posts until we're in the UK ... or not! I'll just see how it all goes!

Fun and Games

We like to have fun as a family and some games are very cultural. Some we've been able to teach others. Kubb, for example, a Swedish game, we learnt in the UK, that we've taught to American friends. Or Carcassonne, a German style board game based on a medieval French town, taught to us by Dutch friends!

Over the time that we've been here in America we have had a growing appreciation as a family for the State License Plate Game (free printable, courtesy of The Dating Divas Blog)! When we first moved here and I heard people mention it, to be honest I have to admit rolling my eyes, thinking 'boring'. Fast forward three years and you will find us hunting down different plates while we're out and about.

For those who aren't familiar, each of the 50 states of America have a different license plate (or a few different ones) which are easily identifiable as the name of the state should be on there. Every car has a license plate based on where the owner lives. So if you move states, you change plates. That means that if you live in Florida (bottom right of the USA) and see a car with a Washington (top left of the USA) license plate ... you know it's travelled a LONG way to get there!

Our long road trip to Florida earlier on this year found us noticing different plates and after a while we started writing down all the different ones we'd seen. Later we found the free printable (see link above) and now we always have a copy in the car to mark down any new ones we see! Abigail's very quick to point out the Ohio ones because they are 'just like ours'. She's also desperate to see an Hawaii one as it has a rainbow on it ... given the geography of the states, we're unlikely to spot one of those round here!!

A couple of months ago we set ourselves the task of finding as many of the 50 states plates as possible before leaving the country. While we knew that it was highly unlikely that we would find all of them, given that Hawaii and Alaska and not even attached to the rest of the states, we thought we had a reasonable chance to get the other 48. 

With less than two weeks to go, we only have about 8 more plates to go to reach the big five-0. The biggest surprise so far was when we found an Alaska plate in the car park at Columbus Zoo ... they really had travelled a long way to see the animals!

Yesterday's trip to Columbus was a little disappointing as we didn't manage to add any to our quota ... and we even drove down one section of a car park, as we spotted a different plate at the other end that we wanted a better look at! We don't usually detour specifically for license plates but we're running out of time! 

When Mark's parents visited in October we introduced them to the game ... and it wasn't unusual to totally loose Gramps in a car park much to Grandma's annoyance!! He kept wandering off trying to locate some more to add their tally of plates spotted. Totally addicted in a very short time!

If you're living or travelling in the States I can thoroughly recommend it as an ongoing family pastime ... a sentence I never predicted saying a couple of years ago! I know if we ever come back here, we'll definitely have a fresh copy out and be ready to cross off the states as we see them!

Things I have learnt ...

This evening was my last Apprentice Wives meeting. For most of the time we've been living in the States, a group of us have met two evenings a month to share, encourage and learn from one another, while our husbands have been training in the MMS hangar.

As this was my last meeting I was asked to share what I have learnt over our time here.  When I started thinking about it, there were lots of useful (and not so useful things) that I have had to learn over recent years, so I started to make a list!

Some of these things I've been learning since my first missions trip to Iringa, Tanzania, back in 1997 (15 years ago!) and that continue to be relevant. Some I learnt to expect from my studies at All Nations and have now had a chance to put them into practice. Some are from personal experience and some are from observing others. Some are sensible and others are not ... but they are all things I've learnt since I started my journey into missions!! 

In no particular order ...

• How to drive on the other side of the road
• How to raise and maintain support 
• To appreciate Fair food Stateside ... deep fried oreos, funnel cake, corn dogs
• The differences between having a baby in the UK and the USA
• To be content whatever the resources and circumstances 
• How to plan and enjoy long road trips with little munchkins
• To speak a different language (American English can be very different)
• That the more you give (time/money/resources), the more you receive
• To always clarify the details when asked to do something (over and over) ... what you understand someone to be saying might not be what you’re being asked
• That God is interested and faithful in all the details
• Not to come with expectations
• That Americans will never fully understand the expression ‘A nice cup of tea’ in the same way Brits do!
• To look for where you can be useful, you can always make an important contribution
• That new culture’s aren’t wrong, they’re just different 
• That your family comes first, if you want to remain on the mission field 
• To find ways to extend hospitality to others because they often won’t extend it to you
• How to shoot a gun
• To take time to get settled as a family before getting involved in too many things
• That God really does supply all your needs, often in unexpected ways
• How to survive on very little sleep for prolonged periods of time
• To be intentional in making friendships
• How to be a mum to more than one daughter
• To enjoy iced-tea and endless refills of drinks at restaurants
• That when you invest time praying for difficult relationships, God can really turn them around in ways you couldn’t even imagine
• To appreciate some of the ‘cheesy’ American Christian movies and literature 
• That we are blessed with the full support of our family (even though they’re a long way away)
• Small town America is not the America of the movies
• To live for the last week before payday every month with no money
• That it’s important to find yourself replacement ‘family’ where you live
• That everyone deals with transition in different ways, don’t take it personally
• How to make a quilt
• That God continues to see the bigger picture and has got it all worked out perfectly, making time for him, helps you ‘sweat the big stuff’ less!

I look forward to learning even more stuff as the journey continues!

Ideas for the Newbie Missionary Mum

Today I want to introduce Amy to you. I met Amy and her family in Ohio, USA when we visited for a week's evaluation at MMS Aviation. Amy is American and her husband David is from Peru. They had us round for dinner that week, in March 2009 and that is the only time we've actually been in the same place at the same time, as they had moved on by the time we arrived in the States permanently! They are now based in Bolivia working with South American Mission. David fixes planes and Amy is a homeschooling, blogging mum of 3, in her own words 'two born in my womb and one was born in my heart'. You can check out her own blog at 'Missional Mama'.

Amy's topic for this post is a very timely reminder for me, as we're right in the middle of packing and about to set up life in a whole new place ...

Four Ideas for the Newbie Missionary Mom (or Mum!)

So, you are heading overseas. There is so much to do getting ready with selling, storing, packing, saying goodbye not to mention making sure you have filled out every form, raised the support needed, and sent the appropriate letters. It is overwhelming!

Likely, you will sit on the airplane with a small sense of relief because everything that could be done is and now the new adventure will begin. You will soon try new foods, meet co-workers, and probably look for a home. New often equals fun…at least at the beginning.

Shortly though, things may not seem as “romantic” as they did when you were preparing to come and sharing with partners. You may feel like you don’t fit, your kids may show signs of stress, and you could begin to second guess whether you can really handle this life after all. You are not alone!

Here are four reminders to help you as you move into this new life …

1. RELAX

When moving the family and kids overseas, we soon find that the outside pressures of life in our home country (ex: to have the perfect family with amazingly gifted children) changes a little. On the field, we still want our kids to excel or at least to do well, but they also need to do much of life in another language. They will also need to learn things taught in new and confusing ways. This can be hard on kids and parents alike.

It is essential for missionary moms to consider what needs to be done and focus on that. For example, if your kids need to learn the language, find a way to make that happen and let other outside activities go for now. We all know that kids need time to play and be creative. Scheduling every moment of life is not healthy for anyone and will likely be frustrating in your new culture. Ask God to help you decide with what to be involved and then free yourself from worrying about it.

2. FEEL

Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. It is not easy to change cultures. You won’t magically fit in and you will make lots of mistakes. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to talk, find a trustworthy friend. When people leave again and it hurts, be upset. If you get depressed, let God walk with you in that too. The thing is that it will likely be very hard, at least at times, and that is OK!

3. CULTIVATE

One of my life goals (that I borrowed from former president and chancellor of the Moody Bible Institute, Dr. George Sweeting) is to, “cultivate my inner life”. This is especially crucial for handling overseas living. Find what feeds you in devotions, learn to study the Bible, pray, and read quality Christian books. Listen to sermons in your native tongue and talk with solid friends. Know God and out of that will flow the living words and actions for others.

4. INVEST

Not only is it important to learn the language to the best of your ability but also to get to know the people. Investing time in the lives of the nationals helps you understand and capture the culture as well as fall in love with the people you are there to serve. It seems like this would be a natural aspect of every missionary, but you will find that flocking towards like-minded people (from your home culture) is the easier thing to do. You will need time with people that understand you, but be intentional about investing in the culture, language, and people to whom God has called you. Also, remember that language learning and cultural adaptation is different for everyone; resist the urge to compare yourself with others.

I have noticed that there is a lot of guilt in motherhood and I would say life on the mission field can grow that guilt if we are not careful. God called you to your culture and He gave you the family that you have. He has a plan for your children that you cannot comprehend which includes living in a third culture.

May God be with you as you work towards raising children and living life for His glory!