Visiting "Home"!

"Home" has changed for us over the last few years, Dorset, Ohio, Dodoma (the next place is yet to be determined!) ... different places, different continents, different cultures. We try to make wherever we are living, home. A place of comfort, escape, security, family.

We also have our home country and home culture. For most of the family it's England, although for Abigail, she only lived there for one year. Technically Naomi's home country is America, as she's never lived in England but realistically she won't remember living in either places!

In fact, for the foreseeable future the only time we will be "Home" is when we are on Home Assignment, travelling backwards and forwards, visiting friends and supporters, speaking at different churches ... it's not really home. We enjoy seeing everyone, we enjoy eating home comforts, we enjoy visiting familiar places but to be honest, we also enjoy the end when we can return and relax!

At the moment, it has been over a year since we've been "Home" to the UK. During this time of waiting on our future, with the changes in MAF Tanzania, we don't know when exactly that might come either. Whenever it is though, it will be a BIG undertaking.

Earlier today I read an amazingly honest post about the dreaded Home Assignment time ... The Naked Truth About Deputation: Can You See Through My Eyes? If you are going on deputation, or are welcoming someone back on deputation from working overseas, please take a few minutes to read this. It really does feel like this writer describes to the family who is travelling around visiting. When people view it as a break, as a holiday, as a time away from work ... think again!

Special Occasions!

Here in Dodoma, it is often the case that if you see something in a local shop and you like it, you buy it. Why? Because it very well may not be there again any time soon ... if ever! It can be very disappointing when you go back another time and it's not there anymore. It's a lesson you learn early on! 

You can work up quite a stash! We have had several things in our pantry that fit that category. That have been saved to only come out on a special occasion! Nutella, dried apricots, puff pastry, chorizo, white cooking chocolate, marshmallows, raisins ... the list goes on!

However things change and now we're faced with eating our way through all these treats and making every occasion a special one for the time being!

Last week, we cracked open the puff pastry and I made a Minced Beef Wellington! Yum! It felt very indulgent, which just shows how differently we value things living here!

Here's the recipe I used, tweaked to what I can get hold of here! ... (serves 4-6)

• 1 medium onion
• 1 carrot
• 1 stick celery
• 1 potato
• 2 cloves garlic
• 2 large mushrooms
• olive oil
• 4 sprigs fresh rosemary
• big handful of frozen peas
• 1 large egg
• 500g minced beef
• sea salt and black pepper
• plain flour for dusting
• 500g puff pastry, chilled

1. Preheat oven - 180/350/GM4
2. Peel, chop and dice vegetables (1cm) and grate/mince garlic
3. Put oil in a large pan, add rosemary leaves and add veg - fry for approx 8 mins until soft
4. Add peas & cook for another minute, then cool
5. Beat egg and add half to the mixture and mince, salt & pepper
6. Scrunch up and mix well together by hand
7. Dust surface, roll out pastry to tea towel size
8. Put mixture along long edge in a sausage shape
9. Brush edge of pastry with beaten egg and roll until covered
10. Dust baking tray with flour, place Wellington on the tray and brush with beaten egg
11. Bake for an hour until golden

Still Processing ...

For those of you who read this regularly, you may have noticed I have gone a bit quieter than usual.

Last week we had some BIG news that ultimately changes the role of MAF here in Tanzania and won't require the services of the Beckwith family (and many others) to continue. The impact of this for us and those we live and work with is HUGE and as a result there is a lot to think about.

Most (but not all) of the MAF Dodoma team

When we came to Dodoma, we had expected to spend 8 years here (our minimum commitment to MAF). We prepared with that in mind. We invested a lot of time, effort and money with that focus before we came and have tried to settle well with a long term goal in mind. Now it feels like we have been thrown a real curve ball and it's taking a while for full impact of that to sink in.

One verse that has meant a lot to us as a family this week is from Proverbs 16:9 "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Sometimes these two things are more different than we can imagine. We were thorough in our preparations, we had the roller-coaster of releasing our container, the even longer wait to get a car and while we've enjoyed life since we set foot in Tanzania, to be fair, we only just got to the really happy balanced, things are ticking along quite nicely phase in the last couple of months. Clearly God has other ideas for our future though!

Later this month we will celebrate our first (and what we now know, will be our only) anniversary here in Tanzania as a family. We may have only been here a year but with the long term goal in mind we have also invested heavily emotionally in what we had thought would be the home for us for the foreseeable future and so it is heartbreaking to think that we won't be here to celebrate any more anniversaries.

We are not bitter or angry about the situation, we totally agree with the decisions that the management of MAF have been making with regards to the programme and it is tough for everyone involved from top to bottom that this is the situation. 

While moving internationally again was most definitely not on my 'To Do' list again for this year, it is there on my list nonetheless ... and so already while there is nothing set in stone yet, we have much to get our heads around. On the plus side, it has been a privilege for me to have been able to share my beloved Dodoma with Mark and the girls for a considerable amount of time. Now the memories we have will be those we have made together and not just my own stories from long ago!

Right now though the emotions are still fresh and they come in waves, some are easier to ride than others. There are also so many questions that are occupying whatever brain power I have left from normal family life here in Tanzania ... here are just a few ...

• Which MAF programme will we go to now?
• When will we go?
• How will we go?
• What will we take with us?
• How will we take it with us?
• What should I give away?
• Who should I give it to?
• Will we fit in home assignment that we were due later this year?
• Will Abigail finish the school year here?
• Where do we want to visit in Tanzania before we leave?
• When can we do that?
• What will happen to the other MAF staff?
• Will my house mama find work elsewhere?
• What about the friends we will all leave behind?
• ...

So, while I take my time to wade through the endless possible answers to each question, start working on the details of the bits I am able to ... and just work up the energy and enthusiasm to move again (something which I only just feel like I'm beginning to recover from, from last time!) ... I may be a little quieter than normal. 

I'm still here ... but for now I'm still processing!

Sanity Saver

This month's guest post comes from a missionary mum right here in Dodoma. Naomi Jones and her husband are here serving with SIM (Serving in Mission) Australia and are originally from Melbourne. While Andrew is involved in Entrepreneur Training, Naomi is using her background in Family Psychology in both school and hospital settings. They have four children. Today Naomi shares how to survive the sometimes hard slog of being a missionary and a mum here in Dodoma!

I have lived here in Dodoma, Tanzania with my husband and 4 children for almost eighteen months now.  Amongst the many pieces of helpful information I was given before we came (and again on arrival) was that if we wanted to stay even a little sane while on the mission field, we needed to bring some of our hobbies with us.

It felt like obvious advice at the time; of course we would try to fit into our daily schedules time for leisure/fun/relaxation as we had always done. But on arriving here the truth began to settle. Life in Tanzania can often feel like a “hard slog” and lots of daily tasks are time consuming and tedious. This, combined with the very real and endless needs of the people around us, can sometimes make leisure time and associated activities feel a little too decadent. 

I began by assessing my options. My “sanity saver” of choice has always been exercise; surely a simple activity to pursue in Dodoma I hear you say? Well not exactly! Swimming was ruled out first. The nearest “lap” pool is out of town and too far away to visit in between work and school commitments. The local hotel boasts a gym on it’s website which I was quite excited about until I saw it in the flesh. Not so much as a gym as a room with some old equipment lying around waiting to be repaired. Exercising outdoors is do-able if you don’t mind the (usually unwanted) attention, the uneven surfaces and the inescapable heat factor. Fast losing inspiration, I was spurred on by friends and family at home who reminded me how much enjoyment I used to get from these activities back home. At that point, I mustered up some courage, put aside my inhibitions and made do with what Dodoma had to offer!

I can truly say now, that exercise has acted as a “transition object” for me in the time we have been here. It is something familiar and predictable in a place where not much else is. When life feels overwhelming, I know that I can count on running to give me the usual endorphin rush, or on walking up a mountain to give me the same sense of peace that it always has. I believe that God wants us to engage in the activities that we love and that are “life-giving” while we are here on the mission field, without feeling guilty. Sure, it is a more challenging task at times, and sometimes it may even involve asking others for help with say, childcare, but at the end of the day it is truly worth it!

Rainy Days

The English are known for their talk of weather. The English are also very used to grey rainy days!

This last week or so the rain has been coming fast and furious. A big relief to the local people especially the farmers. While it has come a month or so later than expected, the rains are finally here in Dodoma ... making some roads a lot more difficult to negotiate!

While this next statement may seem a little bizarre to my Brit friends ... the rain is a very welcome relief! A relief from the hot glaring sunshiny days that are much more typical. Instead of being depressing, it's almost both comforting and refreshing to see looming grey clouds, feel the slight chill of a breeze and run around in the heavy downpours of rain.

On Saturday we had just one of those days. The power was off, the skies were grey, it was much cooler than normal (I even wore a sweatshirt, not because I needed to but because I could ... and there really is a difference!) and the whole family were still in pyjamas at 10am playing board games by the light of battery operated lamps! It was wonderful! 

By mid-afternoon the four of us were under a tent of four chairs and a sheet, sipping water from teeny tiny tea-cups and eating apples and biscuits off small plastic plates.  An indoor tea-party picnic, what else?!

A day of old-fashioned family fun in weather that reminded us of 'home'. It's amazing how comforting and wonderful it felt and how sometimes you realise that even though you've having the time of your life, you also miss things about home more than you really think you do!

African Snow

Christmas has been slightly different for us this year. 

A couple of months ago, Abigail asked when the snow was coming so that she knew it was going to be Christmas. I had to break the news to her that this year there most probably wouldn't be any snow for us! It's funny what you get used to. All Abigail's short life, Christmas and snow have come hand-in-hand ... in Ohio and even last year in England. 

Even though in the UK we're not often guaranteed snow, it doesn't help the wishful thinking for the idyllic cosy Christmas, all wrapped up! We're used to hearing songs like 'Frosty the Snowman' and watching movies like 'White Christmas' (I'm watching it right now as I write!) but a British Christmas usually consists of grey skies and rain ... this year rather too much rain!

For lots of our friends here, the hot sunny Tanzanian Christmas doesn't seem all that different from what they are used to back in Australia and New Zealand and they can't imagine the cold snowy Christmas that I find myself dreaming of!

Christmas here in Tanzania falls in the rainy season, although to be fair the rains have been few and far between so far this year. The average temperature is about 32 (90) degrees. And waiting for the rains, the intensity and humidity is well ... intense!

To make it feel like Christmas, we have been playing Christmas songs, eating the traditional foods, pulling Christmas crackers, the list goes on! Yesterday we went one step further. Before we left the States a good friend of ours gave us something for the girls to enjoy at Christmas time! 

Whoever thought that a little bit of fake snow would be such an excitement?!

It's the closest we're going to get to the real thing, living here in Tanzania ... without climbing to the top of Kilimanjaro (and having done it once, I don't intend to repeat the experience!). Over the years, Christmas is probably going to feel quite different and what it normal is going to change. 

This week we have celebrated what we hope will be the first of many Christmases out here in Dodoma ... and it even included a little sprinkling of snow!

Christmas Cards

Do you like Christmas? Do you like writing Christmas cards? I have to admit a big YES to both! I realise I may well be in the minority on both counts but I don't care!

I love the festive feel of this time of year ... although admittedly in Dodoma you really have to work hard to get it! I love the opportunity to spoil people with gifts, meals and fun times. I love being able to connect with more people that you would at other times of the year through cards and chances to meet up and celebrate. I love the reason behind it all!

As a family we haven't sent out Christmas cards for a while, what with moving last year and other reasons in previous years, it hasn't been something we have been able to achieve. This year though, I took the advantage of the cheap Tanzanian postage (to post to the UK from here is cheaper than posting a second class letter within the British Isles!) and had an absolute ball writing several hundred cards! Even Mark thinks I'm a little bit crazy but he loves me anyway!

Yes, I'm totally mad but I love it for lots of reasons ... here are just a few! 

Firstly, we wouldn't be here, doing what we're doing without the backing, prayers and support of family, friends, churches and even some people who are complete strangers to us, who all make it possible. We don't take that support for granted and wanted to show our appreciation, even if it is in a very small way.

Secondly, while we're so far from home and haven't been able to catch up with people properly for several years now, it is just a small way to keep the connection going. As I write each piece of snail mail we send, small happy memories flash through my mind of times we have spent together with each and every person!

Thirdly, with each card I write, I usually pray for the recipients. Not in a 'holier than thou' way but it's just a chance to remember each person and their current situation and to bring them before someone who cares SO much about them! We are so regularly prayed for by others, it's a chance to return the favour!

Fourthly, however modern and high-tech our world is becoming, I'm definitely of the opinion that there's nothing better than receiving snail mail however old-fashioned that might seem. It always puts a smile on my face and I like being able to put smiles on the faces of others too, even if it is more time consuming and needs to be budgeted for!

The frustrating thing with sending post from Dodoma is that a certain percentage of letters are almost guaranteed not to get through but it isn't a reason for me not to try! If you know us or support us, sometime in the next few weeks or months (or maybe even already) you should receive some mail from Tanzania. If you don't, we either don't have an address or it was one of the unlucky cards that didn't get through. Know that we care about you anyway and/or get in touch with your contact details! 

Altered Lenses

This time last year we were frantically buying, selling, packing, saying goodbyes, preparing, organising. It really was quite something and I'm am very grateful to be well on the other side of it all, even though settling here and getting everything sorted has been an experience all of its own! 

Saying goodbye to the States was hard as we had so much fun there as a family, made new friends and even added a new member to our family. We learnt some of the differences in cultures and picked up some traditions to carry on with us too.

Thanksgiving is something we decided we would 'take with us' and a couple of weeks ago we got to celebrate with a couple of other families right here in Dodoma. Thinking of things to be thankful for this year was a little different. After 10 months of living here my perspective has changed and what I am thankful for and appreciate about life has too. So here goes, just a few ... but through some slightly altered lenses ...

• Electricity and Running Water - While we know that this is something not to take for granted ... out here when both are intermittent and for many (right on our doorstep) a luxury they can't afford, you become a lot more appreciative of them!
• American Toilet Roll - We shipped some across in the container and opened a couple of rolls last week ... it feels so nice to use soft, strong non-shredding loo roll ... after 10 months you wouldn't believe how thankful toilet roll can make you!
• Being able to write - My house lady is in her 50's and can read a little but even writing her name (all 5 letters of it!) takes as long as it takes me to write a whole paragraph! To just be able to write the simplest of things is such a blessing ... really!
• Owning a car - travelling around here is possible on foot/bike but isn't necessarily safe (especially with young children), I am so appreciative of the fact that we are privileged enough to have wheels of our own to get around and not have to be dependent on other people.
• Not getting malaria - Malaria is a very real and present danger here and so far we have all remained healthy and malaria free! A BIG reason to be thankful!
• Moving internationally - Talk about stressful, moving from one continent to another (via a third) ... and now we're only just really getting settled! But to be on the other end of it all is a pretty good feeling!
• Rain - this afternoon it rained ... doesn't sound all that exciting to the Brit readers I'm sure ... but we haven't had any proper rain since April and it is SO dry and dusty here! We're so grateful for the rain, we were dancing and being totally goofy in it!

It will be interesting to see how our perspective changes about what we're thankful for over the years to come!

Banana Oatmeal Cookies

This morning me and the littlest munchkin made 31 cookies from a new recipe ... we had lots of fun. A little over 4 hours later there are now only 4 left in the kitchen ... an indication of the yumminess! There was no question as to whether this recipe is a keeper or whether it was something I would be sharing! (Just for the record, we did have visitors this afternoon, we didn't eat them all ourselves!)

It was a cookie we'd eater a couple of months ago at a friends house here in Dodoma and thought was delicious ... so really today was just confirmation of something we already knew! What I did notice mid-mixing was that it can be a dairy-free recipe, which is something that I mentioned I was searching for recently ... to stretch our repetoire for a friend here who is lactose intolerant!

We added chocolate chips this time (not for the lactose intolerant!), but walnuts and or raisins I think would taste equally as yummy ... I feel another batch coming on!

So here's the Banana Oatmeal Cookies recipe ...

• 1 very ripe banana
• 1/2 cup canola/vegetable oil
• 2/3 cup sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla essence
• 3/4 cup flour
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp cinnamon
• 2 cups oats
• 1/4 cup chocolate chips/walnuts/raisins

1. Mash banana well in a bowl
2. Add oil, sugar, vanilla and mix
3. Add flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon until just moistened.
4. Add oats and walnuts/chocolate chips/raisins and mix well (If dough is slippery add extra flour)
5. Roll into balls - smaller than a golf ball (with wet hands), flatten and place on prepared baking sheets 2 inches apart ... it is a bit fiddly!
6. Bake 10-12 minutes until lightly browned at 175/350/GM4
7. Cool for 2 minutes then transfer to a rack

We made about 30 cookies with these ingredients but ... just remember though one batch might not be enough!

Our Little Black Book

When I first met my hubby, he had a 'little black book' which made me a chuckle a lot! It had all his names and addresses in ... not just a list of his ex-girlfriends, as in the past it might have done!! Now we have our own Little Black Book that we use right here in Dodoma. This one is a little different though.

As a white person in Tanzania you are automatically perceived as having great wealth. While there is a small percentage of the population who are wealthy, the truth is, compared to most here we probably do have more money. 

Reconciling that with everyday life isn't always straight forward. We are able to buy more than a lot of nationals, have bigger more comfortable homes, drive around in our own cars ... the list goes on. What we have is minimal to our peers back home ... yet some of our friends here in Tanzania and those we interact with everyday see it as luxury they cannot ever begin to envisage for themselves. Which leaves us living in an in-between world!

It is inevitable when you work somewhere like Dodoma that you will be asked for money ... from beggars on the street, from people who come to your gate or even from people you know, but in that case, usually for a loan. My house Mama was surprised when she learned that our income comes from churches, family, friends and supporters across the world and we don't actually earn big sums of money ourselves!

Yesterday, I surprised a couple of Tanzanian friends when I refused to see a blind man at our gate. Not because I didn't care but because I knew that he would be asking for money and in the last couple of months I had already given him something for various issues. As a family we are happy to help (and often do) but are trying to be careful that we are not the only source of income or become relied upon.

Which brings me to our 'Little Black Book'. We knew in advance that we would be asked for loans and wanted to make sure we are able to assist in a way that was both practical and helpful. Here are a couple of things that we decided and also took advice from others early on ... so there could be no misunderstanding. 

• In the first 6 months of being here we said 'No' to any loan requests ... we wanted to set a precedent, take time to decide what was best for us and also didn't want to look like a soft touch. 
• We have set a low maximum limit (which in western terms isn't much but here can go a long way and yet would still be returnable)
• We always say we will discuss it with each other before agreeing (usually it's me who is approached as I have the Swahili, although sometimes it's Mark!)
• The person has to have a specific reason/need for the loan
• They must tell us how and when they will return it
• The loan is written down in the book and signed for
• They will not be lent anything more until the loan has been returned in full

It's not rocket science and we haven't lent out to the whole world. The sums of money are minimal (at least in our eyes) and so far the loans have all been honoured. At the same time we have been able to help people in a time of need and make sure that they and their families are looked after ... and it has built trust and relationships too.

If you are planning to move to, or already live in a culture where you will be asked for money on a regular basis ... be ready, set your own boundaries (they might not look like any of ours) ... but make sure you set them. It will cause a lot less stress later on, I can promise you!

Early Mornings

Are you a morning person?! Or does that early morning chirpy thing drive you mad ... and find you reaching for the snooze button or the coffee mug?!

The significance of mornings changes over time, situation and it would seem over cultures!

A friend of mine, parent of a 2 year old, recently shared this status on Facebook ...

'As a teenager a good sleep would involve me getting up around mid day. Now I'm grateful if I can get to 8-9am'

Something I can totally relate to. While Abigail slept like a dream as a baby, her little sister hasn't quite followed in her footsteps. A lie-in would be a dream and just chilling with a book without falling asleep after a page or two would be great! I know it's just a 'season' and I'll be dragging the girls out of bed in a few years time. In the meantime I'll try to enjoy them at whatever time of day they greet me!

The girls aside ... here in Dodoma, the early morning call to prayer from the local mosque often wakes me up sometime after 5am. If it doesn't, then as soon as the sun comes up the wildlife definitely makes themselves known (it's as if someone just flicks a switch) ... as does the population of the Dodoma. 

A lot of people here have no electricity, so waking hours are determined by the hours of sunlight. As we're so close to the equator it is between 5.30 and 6.30 morning and evening for sun-up and sun-down all year round. So that is when the day begins!

Once you get into the swing of it, it's not all that bad. Bed-time just shifts earlier to compensate, which is why the 'Missionary Midnight' is universally known as 9pm. Honestly there are nights when 9pm can feel like the early hours of the morning and you feel like such a light-weight when you check your watch to find that back in the 'real world' you would still be going for another couple of hours!

Now we're in the hotter part of the year (although to be fair all year round is hot by UK standards!) I see the benefits of being an early riser. With no air-conditioning or ceiling fans and having to get on with the day-to-day ordinary stuff, the most productive time of day for me is the morning-time ... so extending mornings, even if it is by starting them earlier has got to be a bonus! The afternoon's can often be a total write-off!

There are still mornings when I don't want to get up ... but I don't often get a choice from my cheeky girlies anyway and if I don't get going, there is so much that wouldn't get done. It makes perfect sense to just fit into the local culture and get on with it! This is definitely our season of early mornings!

What DO you do?

Recently I have been asked several times what exactly I do out here in Tanzania. We're with MAF. Mark fixes the planes. So how do I spend my time?

I have been asked via email by people we don't know but who follow our news. I have been asked by friends that I used to hang out with while we lived in the States. I was even asked by new friends out here who don't live on our side of town. 

I think the assumption is that I don't do very much ... maybe just shop for food, cook it and look after the kids. I don't even have to clean as we have a Mama who comes in to do that. One lady here in Dodoma asked me if I was bored or lonely living on a compound with only one other family. Yeah right!!

I used to think much the same when I lived here before, that the MAF wives were 'busy doing nothing'! Just this last week I've had several different people asking me to do things for them and while I always try to help out, I've had to say no ... I just don't have the time at the moment!

I've shared before what I get up to out here for MAF and within the family in general terms. But I thought it would be interesting just to list what I have been doing, both for myself and for those of you who were wondering, what exactly it is that I do do out here! None of it is mind-blowing, none of it is particularly difficult, none of it is that different to what any other mum out here (or back home for that matter!) would do in a normal week ... it is just the nitty gritty of my life!

So here goes, just some of the things I have got up to over the last 8 days ...

• Shopping trip to the market
• Written a couple of cards to friends
• Played jigsaws and board games with the kids
• Watched a couple of movies and a few episodes of different TV series on DVD
• Went to church
• Did hospitality 4 times, twice because we had to for MAF and twice because we chose to
• Went swimming twice (once on my own, once with the family)
• Spent a couple of hours at the school taking photos and started editing them
• Shopping to some of the duka's
• Compiling the MAF Tz programme weekly news bulletin
• Kept up to date with emails (ish!)
• Had a Skype call/meeting with the current MMS Apprentice Wives group
• Did four lots of exercise
• Taught Naomi to play snap
• 5 loads of washing
• Fell asleep reading my book every night!!
• Wrote the agenda for a meeting, took notes in the meeting (which took place in the compound of a local mosque), wrote up the minutes
• Went out for lunch once
• Did the school run on the MAF bus three times
• Tried a couple of new recipes
• Listened to Abigail doing her daily reading for school
• Updated 2 different Facebook pages
• Arranged and supervised a couple of playdates
• Baked for and co-hosted a staff prayer meeting at our house
• Caught up with some friends
• Updated three pages on the school website
• Went to a Bible Study
• Had one afternoon siesta
• Learnt some new Swahili words
• Arranged a couple of meetings for over the next few weeks
• Started our online Christmas shopping

You might be under the impression that life is very different out here as a missionary but so much of it is just 'normal' everyday, mum stuff (just in a different setting, climate and sometimes a different language!) ... sorry if I have shattered any illusions you might have but this is a snapshot of the reality!!

Something New

Living within a smaller community of people in a culture that's different from that which you're used to, means that you get to know each other quite well reasonably quickly. 

People come and people go ... yes, even though we've only been here 8 months we've seen many people and families in both categories. But in some respects we're still getting to know a lot of them as we're relatively new out here!

Here are some of my 'new' friends. They are from all over the world ... New Zealand, Australia, Holland, Switzerland, South Africa, England!

It never ceases to amaze me when I begin to think that I know someone reasonably well and then find something unexpected about them or their family, both here and amongst friends I've known for years. Like last week when I found out that as a child one of my friends tied a sibling to a telegraph pole for a couple of hours. Or last month when the husband of another friend said that on their first date she had told him up front that she most definitely never wanted children, they're now happily married with four children and she is broody for more!

There is always an opportunity to learn new things about people. Even when you have known someone for years there is always something new to discover. Just last weekend I discovered that my husband who I have seen almost every day since we first met back in September 2005, 8 years ago, can be quite particular when it comes to washing up ... what made me laugh was that it was something that I am also quite particular about too!!

I love the chance we have to get to know people from all over the world, being based in Dodoma, getting to know not only something of them but also of their cultures too. As I said because of the nature of life here, you get to know people quicker and deeper. It's definitely one of the bonuses when you give up so many other things to live and work in a missionary context ... making the effort to spend time and get to know people is well worth it and also because on another level they become your support and your family!

Bored Games

When I was little we used to play board games and read books. TV only had 4 channels, mobile phones didn't exist and computers were just beginning to emerge but most people didn't own one. We would hang out at friends houses, ride bikes or head over to the local park and get up to all kinds of things but none of it required technology and most of it involved quality time with the people you were closest to!

Re-reading that, it almost makes me sound really old. I'm not ... it's just that the world has moved on a generation or two and times are different. Luckily for my girls, life here in Dodoma is a little bit like hitting the rewind button and sending them back to the days of my childhood!

As the years have passed, I think even I got a little out of touch with joys of board games ... relegating them to the 'bored' games category. Outdated, cheesy, something you do with your family but only at Christmas and only then because 'that's what you're meant to do'!! I know that's not the case for everyone but it's a particular type of person/family who play board games regularly ... and guess what? Living where we are, doing what we're doing, we are now officially that type of family!!! 

In our preparations for life out here, one thing we spent a little bit of time looking into, wandering down the aisles in toy departments comparing, asking friends about, looking on Amazon, was for good board games. Not the first thing you necessarily think of when talking about packing up to go overseas as a missionary but something that we have found has been the basis of much fun and laughter and the source of many new friendships and memories already ... and definitely many more to come!

Here's some of the games that we've been enjoying, in no particular order, both traditional and a little different ... Pictionary Man (see photo!), Scrabble, 221b Baker Street, Blokus, Bananagrams, Cluedo, Carcassonne, Settlers of Catan, Snakes and Ladders, Ludo, the list goes on.

I honestly can't recommend a good 'old-fashioned' evening of board games enough now that I've rediscovered them. It's a regular occurrence for us now and if the tears of laughter that I experienced on Saturday evening are anything to go by ... then long may they continue!

Revisiting Old Recipes

Life continues to be about sharing time with people over food here in Dodoma.

Thursday evening we had four dinner guests for hospitality, one from the UK, one from the States, one from Holland and one from Sweden! All here in Dodoma to do different things for MAF. On Friday we went out for dinner in town with another MAF family who are from Australia. Saturday, we invited some of the teachers from Abigail's school round to catch up for the afternoon and evening. And yesterday, Sunday, we out for lunch, just the four of us.

One thing that I've found that I have been doing recently is revisiting some of the recipes that I used to make while I lived here before and was taught by various missionary friends. For some unknown reason I haven't used a lot of them in the twelve years since then!

At the end of last week, while Abigail was on school holiday's and Naomi was fast asleep. Abigail enjoyed trying out another one of these recipe's with me, Lemon Bars ... cooking still being one of her favourite pastimes. They went down a treat with some of our visitors over the weekend!

• 1 cup flour
• 1/2 cup margarine/butter
• 1/4 cup sugar

• 2 eggs - beaten til light and fluffy
• 1 cup sugar
• 2T self-raising flour (or 2T flour + 1/4t baking powder)
• 1/4t salt
• 2-3T lemon juice

1. Combine first 3 ingredients (flour, marge, sugar)
2. Press into 9x9 pan
3. Bake 350/180 for 20 mins
4. Combine remaining 5 ingredients (eggs, sugar, flour, salt, lemon juice)
5. Pour over hot crust
6. Bake for a further 25 mins until crust is lightly brown
7. Cool, cut and serve!

Although we didn't do it this time and they taste delicious either way ... you can also make a glaze (from 1/2 cup of icing/powdered sugar and 1-2T lemon juice, blending till smooth) and drizzle it over the cooled bars before cutting and serving!

The "Long-Term" Missionary

Today I want to introduce you to a friend that I have got to know since returning to Tanzania. Rachel Morgan works for SIL translating the Bible here in Dodoma, in the Rangi language. (In fact, her offices are right next door to our house!) She is from America, married to an Englishman, they have a gorgeous 3 year old son who is from Taiwan and they all live and work as missionaries in Tanzania. A truly international family! Rachel is a self-proclaimed blog stalker but doesn't write one of her own. Today however I managed to convince her to write a post for me!

The single most challenging thing I face as a missionary is the constant flux of people who come in and out of my life. I have been a missionary in Tanzania for almost 6 years and that is definitely considered a “long term” missionary where we live. I can’t even count the number of close relationships that I have developed in those 6 years. However, sadly, most of those people are no longer living here in Tanzania and some are no longer missionaries. You are probably asking, “why are so many people coming and going.” I think the answer to that is that being a missionary is hard. It is hard being away from family and the culture you are familiar with. It is hard working with people who have a different worldview and language.

There are 3 types of missionaries:

1. Short-termers - These are the people who come for 2 weeks - 1 year. I enjoy this group of people as it adds a bit of flavor and social variety to the scene. These people I enjoy because they are so passionate about what they come to do and find it all such an adventure. These people are full of questions and I love showing them the ropes of culture and language. However, lately I find myself wondering whether or not I should invest in those friendships given they are going to leave.
2. Planned Career Missionaries - There are people who, for one reason or other aren’t able to stay long-term. This is the most challenging group of people for me. These are the missionaries who say they will stay for many years and then suddenly, they leave. The reasons for leaving are vast: illness, stress, broken relationships, challenges in working with national partners. These are the people that I go deep with fast and then end up feeling a tremendous loss when they leave. These people are committed to the work but circumstances change for them and they have to leave.
3. Long Term Missionaries - These are the people who stay for 5+ years. The interesting thing about this group of people is, that it's the people you don’t think will stay for a long time. Often this group of people struggle a lot up on arrival, but end up staying for a long time.

I am a self proclaimed extrovert. I absolutely love being with people and despise being alone. The challenge for me is the pain I feel when people leave. I keep telling myself I won’t get close to people unless they are long term but I never know if they will be.

Fortunately missionary friends are not the only friends I have, I also have a few very close Tanzanian friends. These relationships sustain me in a lot of ways. God provides for us with “family” when we don’t have our families near us.

I think it is important for friends and family back “home” to understand what their missionary friends feel about relationships. We love our friends back home, and yet we feel so far away from them. Cards, packages, and emails mean so much to missionaries.

To brighten their day, send an email of encouragement to your missionary friends. It will cross the distance and encourage them in so many ways!

Just Hanging Out

This morning I got to spend some time with Esta, one of my favourite Tanzanians ever! She has been the secretary at CAMS, where I used to teach for the last 25 years. If you want to know anything about anything to do with the school, she always has and always will be the person to ask!

Unbelievably we've been living here for 8 months already and for one reason or another, commitments and other stuff on both sides, it's taken this long for us to get together and 'catch up'. It was a privilege I never imagined would be possible when I left Dodoma back in 2001 and I'm still so grateful that the way things have worked out, I'm actually getting to spend time with good Dodoma friends all over again!

While we used to have a working relationship, Esta also used to come to my house once a week and help me with my Swahili, while I helped her with her English. To be honest though most week's we would just dissolve into a fit of giggles over pronunciations and expressions that one or other of us couldn't quite get right. In the 12 years since I left, we have tried to keep in touch via snail mail and email ... although chatting today it seems that the majority of my snail mail letters never actually got through.

But nothing beats having a face-to-face friendship! We had the chance to share news of our families. Her youngest son, who was the first baby I ever carried strapped on my back with a kanga, is now in Form 3 and taller than me! I was able to show her photo's of what I've been up to and also via the wonders of the internet (more specifically Facebook) I was able to share with her photo's and news of some of the other teachers who used to work at CAMS when I was here before.

Moving somewhere new, there is always so much to learn, people to meet, friendships to build. One big plus for us as a family of MAF sending us to Dodoma, Tanzania was that I'd already lived here which made certain aspects of our transitions SO much easier than it could have been. Another big bonus, more specifically for me, has been being able to re-establish friendships with people I never thought I'd have the chance to see again this side of heaven and it feels wonderful!

Totally Surreal

This time last week, we had not long arrived in Dar Es Salaam ... the commercial capital of Tanzania. Dodoma is the actual capital but to be honest it doesn't have much to show for itself!

When I lived here before I only visited Dar a couple of times. On a teachers budget and without transport of my own it wasn't very practical. But even so, it was a real treat and a taste of the 'real world'!

I was really surprised to find just how far it had all moved on since my last visit about 12 years ago. A choice of great restaurants, supermarkets, shops, resort hotels, even a shopping mall ... the list goes on! Some I was able to revisit, some try for the first time and others note down for future trips. In fact, today I set up a Dar Es Salaam board on Pinterest so I don't forget before our next visit, although to be fair a lot of places don't have great websites if at all!

To be honest it felt totally surreal to be there. Waking up to the view below. In some kind of paradise bubble!

After 7 months of living in Dodoma. With a choice of only a couple of (western!) restaurants and just a handful of tiny food and stationary shops that are worth frequenting regularly to find ourselves in a big city surrounded by the more familiar trappings of a 'western' lifestyle felt fun, excessive, wonderful, strange, unnecessary, indulgent, relaxing ... and so many other things. A real mix of emotions. More so than a usual holiday, by far!

We ate in a Subway sandwich bar one lunchtime ... could have been in one of many different countries after we walked in through the door! I bought a 'Mainstays' ladle in one store ... Walmart's finest budget range! And a Jamie Oliver cookbook in another! Every supermarket we walked into had a wider range of Brit goodies than anywhere we went when we lived in Ohio! It really was just the strangest feeling!

Some aspects were a little more sobering though. We went to Mlimani City, Tanzania's largest shopping mall. (To my US and UK readers, think small shopping mall ... living in Dodoma for the majority of the year though it was pretty impressive for us!) As we drove into the carpark we had our car searched and as we walked into the mall itself we were searched, men on the left, ladies on the right. A direct consequence of the horrible situation in Nairobi just a few weeks ago. It reminded us that even though things felt familiar, the reality was actually very different.

We had a great time and are looking forward to going down to Dar again, to both stock up and indulge. It makes knowing that although things in Dodoma are relatively basic, the other stuff is within reach and ready for us to enjoy at a later date. In some ways coming back to Dodoma feels even more weird now knowing that just 8 hours drive away life would be so different. When it involves moving to another country/culture you expect there to be differences but when it is all 'just down the road' it seems all the more strange somehow ... more like a dream!

Road Trip!

Today, for the second time this week, as a family, we went on an eight hour road trip!

Nothing is close-by here. Dodoma has the basic stuff, it's not totally rural but it's not like 'home' either ... whatever that is anymore! To get to somewhere that vaguely resembles the majority of our UK or US life experience to date we have to drive for a whole day!

The scenery is both breath-taking and heart breaking. Amazing vista's and landscapes, mountains, dry dust devils, lush palms, small businesses, mud huts. You see wealth and poverty, thriving businesses and people striving to make a living. There isn't a stretch of road where you won't find someone walking from A to B ... even when there is no obvious A or B for miles around! We even saw a random pig wandering across the road at one point.

The traffic is quite something else too! You can drive for 5 or 10 minutes without seeing anything or anyone ... then there are stretches when multiple crazy kamikaze bus drivers try to overtake you in the face of other oncoming crazy kamikaze drivers! Loooonnnnnnggggg stretches of the road are straight but you can be assured that the only time you need to overtake anyone there will be blind bends and limited visibility! 

The speed bumps are quite something else (a more recent addition from when I last lived here) ... some of them are seriously vicious! The state of the road itself always makes me chuckle! It's a main road, or should I say the only road from Dar Es Salaam the commercial capital of Tanzania to the actual capital, Dodoma. However, for the most part, you would be forgiven for not recognizing it as such!

For us as a family it is out route 'out'! To escape the dust of Dodoma, the small close community, the humdrum of the basic every day stuff ... even if it is just for a few days. This week the girls were superstars the whole way there and back which is just as well as this journey is going to get incredibly familiar! Not one of the pluses of living here but not all that bad either ... you just have to get on with it, especially as that is our main route in and out of the country when it comes to airports both for us and for visitors!

Dust

One thing that you cannot escape from here in Dodoma is the dust. 

Today during sports day at school, we got to experience some of Dodoma's finest dust first hand!

It really is everywhere. 

You see it swirling around on a regular basis.

Everything in the house has a thin layer of dust and requires constantly wiping down ... yes it really is that bad! You put a piece of paper on your desk one day and it's covered in a grainy layer the next.

In the background, you're always aware of the sound of someone sweeping the dust from one spot to the other on the side of the road. It seems to be a pastime of local people!

Naomi has already got into the habit of 'asking' for the car windows to be closed when we drive on the roads that have no tarmac by bellowing 'DUST ... close windows ... NOW'!

It often gets in your hair and sometimes in your mouth and everything just gets SO grubby as a result of it!

There are times when life goes on and you just get on with it. There are times when the dust just drives you crazy. But it is there and there is nothing you can do about it! I'm very grateful to have help about the house because dusting has never been a favourite pastime and to have to do it multiple times each week (you do really have to!) would drive me potty and there are so many other things to get on with.

Dust is part of our reality here, not something you first think of when you prepare for life overseas ... but the girls are making the most of it, they love to draw pictures in it with sticks, check out what patterns the sole's of their shoes make, Abigail practices her spelling words, the list goes on! It seems that not everyone finds it frustrating ... there really is a positive side to everything!