Ideas for the Newbie Missionary Mum

Today I want to introduce Amy to you. I met Amy and her family in Ohio, USA when we visited for a week's evaluation at MMS Aviation. Amy is American and her husband David is from Peru. They had us round for dinner that week, in March 2009 and that is the only time we've actually been in the same place at the same time, as they had moved on by the time we arrived in the States permanently! They are now based in Bolivia working with South American Mission. David fixes planes and Amy is a homeschooling, blogging mum of 3, in her own words 'two born in my womb and one was born in my heart'. You can check out her own blog at 'Missional Mama'.

Amy's topic for this post is a very timely reminder for me, as we're right in the middle of packing and about to set up life in a whole new place ...

Four Ideas for the Newbie Missionary Mom (or Mum!)

So, you are heading overseas. There is so much to do getting ready with selling, storing, packing, saying goodbye not to mention making sure you have filled out every form, raised the support needed, and sent the appropriate letters. It is overwhelming!

Likely, you will sit on the airplane with a small sense of relief because everything that could be done is and now the new adventure will begin. You will soon try new foods, meet co-workers, and probably look for a home. New often equals fun…at least at the beginning.

Shortly though, things may not seem as “romantic” as they did when you were preparing to come and sharing with partners. You may feel like you don’t fit, your kids may show signs of stress, and you could begin to second guess whether you can really handle this life after all. You are not alone!

Here are four reminders to help you as you move into this new life …

1. RELAX

When moving the family and kids overseas, we soon find that the outside pressures of life in our home country (ex: to have the perfect family with amazingly gifted children) changes a little. On the field, we still want our kids to excel or at least to do well, but they also need to do much of life in another language. They will also need to learn things taught in new and confusing ways. This can be hard on kids and parents alike.

It is essential for missionary moms to consider what needs to be done and focus on that. For example, if your kids need to learn the language, find a way to make that happen and let other outside activities go for now. We all know that kids need time to play and be creative. Scheduling every moment of life is not healthy for anyone and will likely be frustrating in your new culture. Ask God to help you decide with what to be involved and then free yourself from worrying about it.

2. FEEL

Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. It is not easy to change cultures. You won’t magically fit in and you will make lots of mistakes. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to talk, find a trustworthy friend. When people leave again and it hurts, be upset. If you get depressed, let God walk with you in that too. The thing is that it will likely be very hard, at least at times, and that is OK!

3. CULTIVATE

One of my life goals (that I borrowed from former president and chancellor of the Moody Bible Institute, Dr. George Sweeting) is to, “cultivate my inner life”. This is especially crucial for handling overseas living. Find what feeds you in devotions, learn to study the Bible, pray, and read quality Christian books. Listen to sermons in your native tongue and talk with solid friends. Know God and out of that will flow the living words and actions for others.

4. INVEST

Not only is it important to learn the language to the best of your ability but also to get to know the people. Investing time in the lives of the nationals helps you understand and capture the culture as well as fall in love with the people you are there to serve. It seems like this would be a natural aspect of every missionary, but you will find that flocking towards like-minded people (from your home culture) is the easier thing to do. You will need time with people that understand you, but be intentional about investing in the culture, language, and people to whom God has called you. Also, remember that language learning and cultural adaptation is different for everyone; resist the urge to compare yourself with others.

I have noticed that there is a lot of guilt in motherhood and I would say life on the mission field can grow that guilt if we are not careful. God called you to your culture and He gave you the family that you have. He has a plan for your children that you cannot comprehend which includes living in a third culture.

May God be with you as you work towards raising children and living life for His glory!

Packing Up

Our house right now is just a total mess of piles, half packed boxes, lists ... all of things to sell, things to get rid of, things to ship, things to travel with us and a whole lot more.

We're sorting out shipping companies, sorting out schedules for when we're home in the UK, trying to look ahead to things that we need lined up for when we arrive in Tanzania, as well as the day to day stuff and having some fun with our girlies so they're not totally disorientated with everything that is going on!

For someone who likes an element of order in her house, it is getting a little frustrating already and there are still a couple of weeks left. Sometimes it all seems a little overwhelming, sometimes it doesn't! That changes from day-to-day, or hour-to-hour ... even minute-to-minute!

I know it will all be over in just a few months time ... when we're settled again in Dodoma. But to be honest those few months seem like they will last forever when you look at them from my standpoint right now! Thankfully, as with all the changes that have been going on, we have been working through it all one step at a time and so far it hasn't been overly stressful!

There have been also been little high points for me in the process too ... successful sales of stuff we don't want anymore to friends and on various Facebook pages, collecting together things for crafty projects for me, presents for the girls next birthdays (yes, we're having to look that far ahead!), random items to make our new house a home so that we will be able to settle into it quickly at the other end and much more.

Here are a couple of fabrics I've bought to decorate different rooms in our new home. I have to admit I'm excited to get there, unpack my sewing machine and get started on them ... but even writing that, I'm aware at how middle-aged and missionary-like I'm sounding already! Oh well ... Ho Hum ... in the midst of all this right now, see if I care!

Don't let the Mosquito's get you

I've shared before one of my favourite quotes ...

'If you think you're too small to be effective, you've never been in bed with a mosquito'

It has a whole different connotation when you're moving your family, little people included, across the world to a country where malaria is a common occurrence. 

When I lived in Tanzania before, I survived my first year unscathed. The second year was different though ... I managed to get malaria, not once, not twice but three times. Seriously! 

When a healthy, well nourished person get's malaria it can just be like a bad case of the flu, that is treatable. On the flip side, it can be a deadly disease for those who have limited resources or access to medical attention. Thankfully we should be blessed with former situation during our time in Dodoma, but it won't guarantee total immunity, just a stronger body to deal with it!

Obviously we're going to be careful, not going out in the prime mosquito time of the day, using bug spray and to begin with, taking anti-malarial medication. Talking to the other families when we visited, it seems that most people don't take them the whole time though ... after all, who wants to pump themselves and their little munchkins with drugs, year after year?

We used this recent trip to test out how we all (but the girls especially) reacted to one particular type of anti-malarial before committing to taking it for a longer period of time, when we move to Tanzania in 2013. Thankfully it seemed to be a total success with none of the possible side effects like instant vomiting, diarrhoea, hallucinations and other stuff ... much to our relief!

Getting the girls to take the medicine was a whole other experience though. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT follow the instructions that say dissolve in water and give it to your children as a drink. I am here to personally testify that it does not work like that!! The first time, we had one agonising afternoon where we were force-feeding this disgusting solution to two very uncooperative little girls but had to make sure they were taking it! We really hadn't thought it through at all.

Fast forward one week ... and we were two very much more prepared parents! Crush it, mix it into just one spoonful of yoghurt and serve in the first mouthful without mentioning anything about anything. Absolutely no problem. Every week since has been exactly the same. BIG sigh of relief because believe me, we weren't going to repeat that first experience again each week!!

Hopefully we'll avoid the mosquito's and malaria as much as possible ... and thankfully, the process hasn't altered the girls love of yoghurt either.